Here's my dilemma. My best friend is getting married in two weeks. The best man, the groom, and I have known each other for more than thirty years, but there are tensions arriving as the big day approaches. While the groom and I have remained best friends in our own way, the 'best' man and I have been at odds for more than a decade. I am trying to be the bigger man and allow our petty differences to fade into the background while our best friend moves forward with his life, but the 'best' man insists on being argumenative, acting petty, and creating more tension in an already tenuous three-way relationship.
With that being said, the bachelor party is tomorrow night and the 'best' man and I have had to talk. I tried to excuse myself from the party on the grounds that I don't have the money, but there are other issues at play. I am an alcoholic and have been sober for more than a year now and don't want to put myself in a situation where I am tempted to act in an off-color way. There is also the issue of the tension between me and the 'best' man. Thirdly, there is a financial issue. Being underemployed, I simply don't have the money to split a stretch limo to Atlantic City and bounce from strip club to trendy club as a tribute to my friendship, while the 'best' man is a well-paid executive with no financial worries. How do I please all parties involved, seeing that my best friend's fiancee just called and asked me to go, regardless of my feelings? Please help me!!!
The Second-to- Best Man
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 21, 2006, 7:40 AM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Apr 21, 2006, 7:38 AM
Post #2 of 4
(1805 views)
Re: [dirk3015] bachelor party etiquette
[In reply to]
Your sobriety, and your health, are the most important issues here. Call your friend immediately and explain your position. I wouldn't bother with the finance excuse since that is argueable. Just let him know that, although you care for him deeply and want to help celebrate his wedding, you just cannot take the chance of exposing yourself to this drinking environment. But, you'll certainly be there for the wedding and all of the other groomsmrn responsibilities. Any good friend should understand this. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Nancy Tucker
PRESIDENT - WEDDINGS BEAUTIFUL
Apr 21, 2006, 8:03 AM
Post #3 of 4
(1801 views)
Re: [dirk3015] alcoholic not attending bachelor party
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more with the Wedding Queen, you have to watch out for yourself in this situation and you may be putting yourself in a worse situation if the best man is petty now, wait until he has a few drinks. Excuse yourself. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 21, 2006, 11:38 AM
Post #4 of 4
(1795 views)
Re: [dirk3015] alcoholic not attending bachelor party
[In reply to]
I completely agree. It is entirely appropriate for you to excuse yourself. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
alcoholic not attending bachelor party
