How do I get my MOH more involved in planning my bachelorette party? About 2 months ago we decided on going to Vegas. A few weeks went by and I mentioned to her that I'd like to book our trip soon, as prices would probably go up. A couple more weeks went by and no progress on her part, so I took the initiative and booked the flights and hotel. All during this time I have been communicating with her and my other bridesmaid (BM) some things I'd like to do (since my BM asked). I also ask if they are ok with some of my suggestions. My BM ended up sending the invites out to the rest of the girls who were invited because my MOH hasn't moved on it. After I booked the flight, my MOH says thanks for doing so, and that she'd "like to help with some of the planning". We've giving her all the opportunities she needs, but she hasn't done anything. I feel like she is putting it all on my BM, who has been great and trying to get the plans rolling. Not only that, I told her that I am paying my own way since it's an expensive weekend and her response was, "well, we'll buy you a couple of drinks while we're out there". Not that I expect anything lavish from them, but she IS my MOH and I am really shocked with the way she has been handling my wedding events (she seems more worried about what shoes she'll be wearing). We've been friends for a very long time, and I hate for my wedding to cause problems in our friendship. I planned hers 2 years ago for all her other friends, who I barely knew, and some never met, so I how do I get her more involved without hurting her feelings?
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Feb 9, 2006, 11:20 AM
Post #2 of 5
(1075 views)
Re: [sodagirl] How do I get my MOH more involved in planning?
[In reply to]
Generally, the MOH and/or the other bridesmaids normally agree to plan this party. They also agree on who will be in charge and who will be the backup. On occasion, however, the order may change depending on people's lives. It sounds like you have a bridesmaid who is taking the lead to handle the necessary planning components and that is how it turns out sometimes.
If you are disappointed in the way your MOH is handling your planning as a whole, then you should speak with her about that, keeping in mind she might not be aware that you are upset with her.
Cheers! Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 9, 2006, 12:05 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Feb 9, 2006, 12:08 PM
Post #3 of 5
(1068 views)
Re: [sodagirl] How do I get my MOH more involved in planning?
[In reply to]
Did your maid of honor offer to plan this event? You say in your first sentence that "we decided the bachelorette party would be in Vegas", but who exactly is the "we"? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
sodagirl
Feb 11, 2006, 2:44 AM
Post #4 of 5
(1057 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] How do I get my MOH more involved in planning?
[In reply to]
I mentioned 'we' because my MOH asked where I'd like to go for my bachelorette party. I had always wanted to go to Vegas, which she knew, and we both discussed the trip and other options. I even asked my other friends (whom she doesn't really see often) if they would be interested in going to Vegas before the decision was final to make sure I wasn't the only one interested in going.
I find it a bit contradicting how everyone, even expert wedding advisors, always say, 'It's your day.. do what you want' to the bride, but somehow the bride always ends up feeling guilty about her decisions if one person doesn't agree 100%. My MOH keeps telling me that it's 'my day', but I feel like it is only if I plan it. My other BM has expressed her frustrations with my MOH not doing as much as she should be, too. So, I'm at the point where I have done what I can at this point. The rest I will just wait to see what will happens. i guess I should just concentrate on the more important things of planning - like the rest of the details of my wedding.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 11, 2006, 3:41 PM
Post #5 of 5
(1049 views)
Re: [sodagirl] How do I get my MOH more involved in planning?
[In reply to]
There may be more going on in her life than you know. She may be quiet about her problems because she feels that this is 'your day'.
However, with the issue of the bachelorette party, as well as the bridal shower, these are optional events. And, as Rhonda pointed out that all of the bridesmaids have to agree upon the planning and one may step in and take over. Perhaps this was just too expensive for her. We don't know if this may be the issue. So, I have to agree with Rhonda and the Wedding Queen that if this is a problem for you, it is best to speak with her. Perhaps you two just need some private time.
You seem to be going in the right direction, though, and moving on toward the planning of your wedding.
How do I get my MOH more involved in planning?
