Asking friend to be bridesmaid when she doesn't have money
Hi there;
I am getting married in 5 and a half months time and have yet to ask my attendants to stand with me. Here is my dilemma...I have already asked my sister to be MOH. I want to ask 2 other friends one of which does not have a lot of money and I do not want her to feel obligated to say "yes" to bridesmaid duty. All of my bridesmaids are tight on money but this one in particular always talks about her money problems. I want to ask her because she is a good friend but don't want to have her say yes if she doesn't really want to. I know she has never be in a wedding party before so she likely does not understand what it entails. How do I let her know what it involves in accepting a bridesmaid position without offending her. I am concerned she'll say yes and then complain about having to spend anything to me and I'd feel awful. My FH and I are not in the financial position to help her out and we feel if we help her out we shoudl help out our other attendants who are just as financially strapped as she is but just do not mention it on a regular basis.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 13, 2008, 9:02 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Mar 13, 2008, 10:15 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [brideinwaiting] Asking friend to be bridesmaid when she doesn't have money
[In reply to]
Dear Brideinwaiting,
Please remember that the number of attendants should reflect the formality of your event. The more formal your wedding, the more attendants you have. So, if yours is informal, you wouldn't want more than two--maybe three.
You could tell her that you would like for her to be in your wedding, but are concerned about her financial position. Then she can tell you if it will be a problem. This way you have opened the door for a conversation about it.
Please remember that some consider hosting a shower an attendant's duty, but it is not. So, if it is a concern that she won't be able to help host, it isn't a problem. Of course the attire and accessories can be very costly.
Asking friend to be bridesmaid when she doesn't have money
