I asked my future SIL to be my maid of honor because we were close at the time and I felt it would be easier for her to fulfill the most basic MOH role because she knows both sides of the family better them by 2 BFFs. I am no longer happy with that decision because my MOH has been the biggest pain since the wedding planning started. Cases in point:
1. We decided to have a Sunday wedding; she flipped out. 2. My bridesmaids and MOH did not know each other at all so before we went dress shopping I held a brunch at my house and my MOH refused to show up and get to know the other bridesmaids. 3. She complains about the dress she has to wear when she picked it out. 4. She informed me of how she was dressing for the wedding and will not consider my ideas for hair and shoes. 5. She refused to order her dress when everyone else did and yelled at me when it was discontinued and she had to order it on a days notice. She has stopped calling me or even hanging out with me and I swear I have done nothing but try to be understanding of her concerns and feelings. She has treated my wedding like it is all about her and caused a fight between by FH and I and his family over even small issues like the colors of our wedding.
I am not placing any demands on my bridal party other then to wear nice, low-heeled shoes and to get their hair done in an up-do. It will cost less than $200 for everything, including clothing. Even her own brother is angry with her and has said if I do not demote her he will. I do not want to cause problems with my future in-law but she has caused me more stress then planning the entire wedding. Please help me figure out how to confront her behavior and gracefully demote her.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 27, 2007, 1:09 PM)
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Dec 27, 2007, 2:05 PM
Post #2 of 5
(724 views)
Re: [jpooze] Asking my maid of honor to step down
[In reply to]
If the situation is in fact as you describe, then you certainly have a right to ask her to step down. Just make sure to check with a trusted 3rd party if you can, who knows what's been going to make sure you're not seeing at least some of the issues through "bride-colored-glasses". There are two sides to every story. That said, if she is actually acting this way and undermining the wedding and your peace, you need to consider asking her to step down - if her behavior is that bad, your new family will likely understand. You might want to do it with your fiance present so she understands that it is a joint decision.
Re: [Weddings by Shayna] Asking my maid of honor to step down
[In reply to]
Thank you for the input. I do not want to be considered a "bridezilla" and I have worked very hard to keep myself in check on that sort of thing so it means a lot to have an outsider tell me that I am right to feel as I do and consider asking her to step down. Thank you.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Dec 27, 2007, 2:27 PM
Post #4 of 5
(713 views)
Re: [jpooze] Asking my maid of honor to step down
[In reply to]
Before taking the drastic step of asking her to step down, maybe you and your fiance could have a quiet talk with her. It's possible she isn't aware of her behavior. Saying something like, "We're feeling like..." so that she doesn't feel too threatened. Good luck! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 27, 2007, 5:56 PM
Post #5 of 5
(705 views)
Re: [jpooze] Asking my maid of honor to step down
[In reply to]
I completely agree. With the both of you speaking with her, it won't be so much coming wholly from you. Hopefully, if you have to ask her to leave, including your fiance in the discussion may help others not to blame you.
And, you never know. She may be going through something very personal that she isn't disclosing. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 27, 2007, 5:57 PM)
Asking my maid of honor to step down
