I have just got engaged to the most wonderful man. We are planning our wedding for Summer 2006.
I am very close to my future sister in law (Mary), and have asked her, together with my childhood best friend to be my maid of honor and bridesmaid. However, a storm in brewing... My fiance's parents are divorced and he has a much younger half sister (Ellen). She lives in the Carribean and I have only met her a few times, but I found her difficult, loud and spoilt.
However, my fiance's father and step-mother have now kicked up a fuss. They say that since Mary is going to be a bridesmaid, it is cruel not to ask Ellen as well. Like most 11 year olds, she would love to be involved in a wedding.
I should add that I am getting married to an English man and the wedding will take place in England too. As far as I am aware, flower girls etc are not as common there as they are in the US, so I'm not sure if this type of compromise would be accepted.
What is the etiquette here? Should I gracefully bow to family pressure or should I dig in my heels?
This is a personal decision that only you can really answer since we do not know the personalities involved.
Consider all the players and make sure to have loots of discussion before making a decision. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I totally agree. Also, because of Ellen's age, she is too young to be a bridesmaid. However, she can be a junior bridesmaid. Her role would be limited to that of the actual wedding.
Take care and best wishes, Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
The etiquette involved here is that we only choose those with whom we are close as attendants. It is a nice gesture to choose one of the groom's sisters, which you have. If you don't feel comfortable with the younger lady joining you, then it is probably best to not include her. But, think about this for a while. You have time.
Bridesmaid Dilemma
