i'm just curious...my cousin is having a wedding this coming July and she mentioned earlier that she was "thinking" of having me as a bridesmaid. Well a month later, i didn't hear anything about it so i asked her and she said, oh sorry but i can't use you as a bridesmaid after all. I acted polite to her but I'm really annoyed and mad at her. Shouldn't someone be certain about having you as a bridesmaid before they would even mention it to you? she is only 18 so I guess she is immature.
Your cousin casually mentioned that she was thinking about having you as a Bridesmaid but she has since decided differently. Whatever her reason, she has chosen to select other people to be in her wedding party. There is no rule that says she has to ask you simply because the two of you talked about it.
It seems to me that you took her casual conversation to be mean more than it did. Now you are mad about it. So really this is more about your feelings being hurt and less about whether she should have been 'certain' she wanted you in her wedding party.
Her being 18 doesn't necessarily equate to her being immature. What is immature is for you to pout about this and not go to her wedding. You should go and be happy for her regardless of whether or not you are in her wedding. Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
If you are asking if it is immature of her to tell you that she was thinking of having you as a bridesmaid, but then said that she can't use you, no it is not. It would have been better that she not mention using you in the first place, but this is no matter now.
If you value your relationship with her, it is best to let this go. It is not worth it. Moreover, a bridesmaid is expected to spend quite a bit of money. The dress alone is expensive. She may have done you a favor. r
Thanks for your take on the situation. I still feel she was rude about the whole deal and the fact that she wasn't even going to tell me that she decided on someone else and that i had to ask her. I would have to fly out to see her wedding and with this kind of treatment, I really don't want to bother.
I guess I can pout if I want. To me, it was rude and since I know this person better, I know that she is pretty immature.
I'll agree with Rebecca that your cousin should not have mentioned this to you if she wasn't serious and I will also agree with you that she probably should have come back to you with some sort of explanation -- but she didn't -- so now you have a decision to make. Will you be the more mature relative and go to the wedding or will you bring yourself to your cousins "immature" level and stay at home? Seems to me that you would be guilty of the same sort of relationship blunder you're accusing your young cousin of committing. If this really bothers you maybe you should tell her -- after the wedding, of course!
Weddings are fun -- go and enjoy yourself -- trip and all. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Bridesmaid Etiquette
