I just found out that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant and will be 8 months along at the time of my wedding. I really only chose this person in the first place because of my fiance. I have had someone in mind that I wish I had originally selected in her place and now that I found out she is pregnant I would really like to replace her. When I talked to the bridal shop where our dresses are from the one I have selected for the Bridesmaid will not easy by altered into a maternity gown. This will really throw off the look of the dress not to mention it wont make her look flattering at all. Plus I want all my maids to look the same, the cut of their dresses matches mine perfectly. Also, this is her second pregnancy, with her first pregnancy she was tired and sick most of the 9 months and this makes me very nervous considering I'm really going to need my maids help as the date gets closer. Is it wrong of me to tell her they can't alter her dress and I want all the dresses to be the same? The bridal shop said they would give her her money back. How would I go about telling her this?? Help Please!
I'm sorry, but there is no way I can help you insult someone. I know of no way to make this sound polite. You could simply ask her if she thinks that she will be able to continue. But, beyond that, you are on your own.
Please consider that this is a life event. It happens. Plus, just because they are 'your' maids, they do have their own lives that may get in the way of your plans from time to time. No matter how close you are to all of them, they most likely will not be there 100% when you need them.
I'm sorry but I disagree with you. I'm not insulting anyone. I only plan on getting married once and I want my day to be perfect as did she when she was married. The problem here is she will be 8 months pregnant and the style of dress that all my other maids are wearing can not be altered and still remain the same as the others which is very important to me. She was very sick throughout her whole pregnancy the first time around and she may not even be interested in still being in my wedding who knows. But I 100% disagree with your advice but thanks anyways for the time.
Another thing I think you aren't taking into consideration is the fact that she will be 8 months pregnant. I have no idea how someone that pregnant could handle getting their hair done, make up done, pictures, the standing in high heels for an hour, the reception. Our wedding is going to be a 12 hour event, I know that's not something I would want to be so heavily involved in when I'm 8 months pregnant. No to mention the fact that I'm planning an out of town wedding in my hometown which is where all my bridesmaid are so I will need their help with things a little more than the average person but this is something each of them knows and agreed too.
You've got to be kidding. I was pregnant with my second child when my husband died and I was able to do all sorts of things, not to mention getting on a plane to go to memorial services and appearing in court. All of that after my first child was born 8 weeks premature. Pregnant women aren't going to make your bridal party less than perfect and, in fact, I think she could make the event even more special with her glowing radiance. I agree that your bridesmaid would be insulted if you ask her to step down because you feel she will make your bridal party look less than perfect. I sure would be.
In addition, when you ask these women to be a part of your bridal party, you do so because you care for them. I don't see the care for this woman. If you truly cared more about her feelings than your wedding being picture perfect, you would speak to her about her abilities and what she wants and then if it didn't work out, so what? So you have one less bridesmaid? Seems to me by doing it your way you're going to have one less friend/family member/relationship.
And, by the way, if you're planning perfection, plan to fail. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 24, 2007, 7:53 AM)
To be perfectly honest i have never received worse advice in my entire life. The advice i've been given by this website is a complete and utter joke! The girl actually approached ME this weekend and said she had some concerns about being a bridesmaid now that she is pregnant. She explained to me just as i did to you two about how she didn't feel well at all with her first pregnancy and SHE said SHE didn't think it would be fair to ME to be part of the wedding if she wasn't 100%. SHE ASKED ME if i would have a problem with her stepping down and her helping out in another way. SO see ladies your advice wasn't in fact correct. The advice i've recieved from this site has completely ruined my views of this site and i have never meant such rude and ignorant people in my life as i did visiting this site. I hope no one else this advice seriously. To make comments that you two did about my wedding and me being ignorant and saying my day isn't going to be perfect and i'm going to fail is the rudest most ignorant thing anyone could say and I'm glad other people will see how you two truly are and see your true colors. It's a same this site doesn't have better people giving advice. Such a waste.....
That is exactly the advice we gave you. We told you to show concern for the woman and either talk to her about your concern or allow her to decide, which is what happened.
Frankly, you have shown to the rest of the world YOUR true ignorance.
Be careful what you ask for - you just might get it. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 26, 2007, 9:58 AM)
I agree with the other two experts who have responded and it seems that after all is said and done, if you had talked to her in the first place, you would have saved yourself a lot of grief. Your attitude toward the experts here is unacceptable and uncalled for. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
It is unfortunate that you didn't read our actual words. If you had followed my advice by asking her if she felt she could continue, you would be in a different place right now. I also stand by my first post though, that it would be impolite to ask her to step down because of her pregnancy. This isn't nice. All etiquette specialist would have told you the same thing. Actually, most everyone would, I would imagine.
But, it all worked out for you any way, albeit in a round-about way. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
I too agree. You came to this site for advice and you received it. However, because said advice wasn't what you wanted to hear, you now chose to publicly disrespect and attack the experts who responsed to you. That is unfortunate but it doesn't change that what was recommended to you from the beginning was what ended up happening anyway. Therefore, the experts knew what they were talking about, contrary to your ugly assertions. Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
Bridesmaid Pregnancy
