One of my good friends that I have asked to be a bridesmaid is offended because I have asked her to cover up one of her tattoos. I have chosen a strapless dress for each of my bridesmaids, and she has a (very large) tattoo on one of her breasts that extends to her chest making it very visible and not so pretty. All of my other bridesmaids plan on covering their tattoos and have absolutely no problems doing so. But my one bridesmaid got upset saying that "I didn't get my tattoo to cover it up, it's a part of me."
Now if she wants to show her tattoo then that is just fine, but she cannot be in my wedding party. I want her at my wedding and I would love her to be my bridesmaid, but the tattoo really turns me off AND I'm paying good money for a wonderful photographer.
Right now she says she wants to think about whiether or not she wants to be in my bridal party anymore, and even though I won't love her any less if she decide not to, I'll still feel upset that she can't give me what I need for one day... my wedding day. All of my other friends see it as it's my wedding, and whatever I need them to do they will do it in a second because it's important to me and to them.
Does anyone think that she is being selfish at all about this subject? I see it as its one day with some tattoo cover up, it's not like I'm asking her to lose 10 pounds or change her personality.
Advice and thoughs would be great, thanks!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 21, 2006, 7:20 PM)
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Nov 13, 2006, 11:06 AM
Post #2 of 6
(852 views)
Re: [SarahREM] Bridesmaid and her tattoo
[In reply to]
I can tell you from having to deal with this situation more often than I like that from your bridesmaid's perspective, you are asking her to change her personality. And as for all your other bridesmaids, it doesn't matter if they agreed to cover their tatoos. They aren't the issue.
So, she doesn't want to cover her tatoo. Will it change the mood or celebratory environment of your wedding? No, not one bit. The focus will still be on you and your husband to be. And, even if it gets into the photos, photographers have the ability to wash those type of things out.
As for kicking her out of your wedding, if you love her as you say you do, then it should take a much more weighty transgression than this for you to take away her role as a bridesmaid. If you knew she had the tatoo before you asked her to be in your wedding, then that is something you should have taken into consideration before asking her.
Nevertheless, you asked, she accepted so now she is in. What you should do is not risk a friendship over a tatoo and let this go. Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 13, 2006, 11:08 AM
Post #3 of 6
(852 views)
Re: [SarahREM] Bridesmaid and her tattoo
[In reply to]
Dear Sarah,
She is not being selfish if you knew about the tattoo when you asked her to be in your bridal party. This is something we have to take into consideration these day with so many young people getting tattoos.
But, it is unfortunate that some do not realize that tattoos are off-putting to many others. The placement of that tattoo would be glaring in your photos and the emphasis would be on her chest. I doubt this is something you probably want, which is a very good reason to ask her to cover it up.
Perhaps you could also mention to her that as much as her tattoo is part of her, that you know that respect and courtesy is as well or else she wouldn't be such a great friend. And, that it is only respectful and courteous to hide the tattoo for the day, as there will probably be older guests who do like care for tattooed breasts.
Re: [SarahREM] Bridesmaid and her tattoo
[In reply to]
You haven't mentioned if the dresses have been selected and bought. If they haven't been, why not select a style for her that might cover her tattoo? If the dresses are a done deal then your photographer should be able to airbrush the tattoo right out. And, this just may make for a funny story later on.
My dad used to tell me to "pick your battles". Decide what is of more importance - your photos or your friend. This may sound simplistic but realize that in few years probably no one will remember the bridesmaid with the tattoo but you might miss a friendship. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Ninja mom
Nov 21, 2006, 3:55 PM
Post #5 of 6
(796 views)
Re: [SarahREM] Bridesmaid and her tattoo
[In reply to]
When you say not so pretty what do you mean? like the tattoo is in bad taste(like racist,or offensive to others)? or it's bad artwork(like blurry or dotted ect.)? I mean if you have good reason why it would look soo bad other than you don't like it then that's pretty rude IMO, you did ask her to be in your wedding so she must be close to you in some way. Tattoos are Very personal.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Nov 21, 2006, 7:18 PM
Post #6 of 6
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Re: [Ninja mom] Bridesmaid and her tattoo
[In reply to]
As per the rules you agreed to upon sign up only experts are to reply to posts. Thank you. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Bridesmaid and her tattoo
