One of my bridesmaids backed out today and my wedding is in Feb. The dresses are already in and paid for. My family paid for them and she didn't have to pay for anything. She lives out of town so she is not required to do anything either, until the day of the wedding.
Her excuse is her life is too chaotic right now and that she wants me to have someone more stable. However, she might be able to go to the wedding afterall as a guest.
I don't have any friends who are anywhere near her size. The dress can't be returned. I hope the dress can be altered significantly without being ruined if I ask someone else.
Would it be reasonable to ask her to pay for it then?
Fustrated
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 27, 2006, 6:17 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 27, 2006, 7:11 PM
Post #2 of 5
(655 views)
Re: [Baylor] Bridesmaid backed out after dress already in
[In reply to]
Dear Frustrated,
If she agreed to pay for the dress, then yes it is appropriate to ask. But, if she was told that she didn't have to pay for the dress, then it is not polite to ask.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Bridesmaid backed out after dress already in
[In reply to]
I have given her chances to back out prior to ordering the dress and before the dress arrived. She did not back out until now.
My bridesmaids are very lucky. Everything is paid for and they have no monetary or even social obligations with showers,etc. all they have to make sure to do is be at the actual wedding :)
She has been difficult to get ahold of, she is getting married herself but has not told me anything about her wedding plans or has even informed me of who is going to be in her party, despite me asking her. I fear she may not want to tell me because she may have asked an old collegue of ours that I had a major falling out with. She has been very deceptive in the past with me concerning certain things.
She moved but did not inform me of her new address or phone number. The Save the Date Card came back and that's how I found out. What if I had mailed her her dress?She has given me her new address but not her phone number despite me asking for it. She rarely responds to e-mail.
The dress can not be altered to fit any of my other friends and therefore, if she does not participate then the wedding party will have to be uneven. It's a $300 designer dress she could easily wear again. It's too late to order another one. That was explained to her when she was asked if she needed to back down.
Yes, she was told that she didn't have to pay for it, but she has also backed out of her promise too.
TWQadmin
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/ Moderator
Nov 27, 2006, 8:45 PM
Post #4 of 5
(645 views)
Re: [Baylor] Bridesmaid backed out after dress already in
[In reply to]
She doesn't sound like a good friend at all. I would really consider this a blessing and let her bow out. If you need to, sell the dress on ebay. Remember, if she decided to be in the wedding you would have been out that money anyway. Just acccept it a one of life's little lessons and focus on your wedding and the people involved. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 28, 2006, 9:59 AM
Post #5 of 5
(635 views)
Re: [Baylor] Bridesmaid backed out after dress already in
[In reply to]
Bridesmaid backed out after dress already in
