Bridesmaid does not want to be in Brother's wedding because of Sister
I have not spoken to my sister in over five years. My brother is newly engaged, and I love my future sister-in-law. They have asked us both to be in the wedding. My sister is over-bearing, mean-spirited to everyone around her including my brother and his fiancee. She has even spread rumors about my brother and fiancee! My brother and his fiancee obviously do not mind the type of person she is, and take her for what she is; I can not do this. I want to tell my brother I do not want to be in the wedding to avoid any type of altercation with my sister. However, I feel that this is completely not my place asking to not be in the wedding, as it is his day.
I realize the proper thing to do is grin and bear it for my brother, but I want to know what is proper.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 17, 2008, 11:58 AM)
PremaritalCoach
MARRIAGE/FAMILY COUNSELOR
Jun 17, 2008, 12:45 PM
Post #2 of 3
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Re: Bridesmaid does not want to be in Brother's wedding because of Sister
[In reply to]
I see this as being a sort of ethical dilemma. As you may know, in ethics there is no right or wrong, but a more precise definition would be: should you or should you not. This might be applicable to your case. Should you or should you not be in your brother’s wedding.
Perhaps you should not because you will feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you should not because you have not spoken to your sister in five years and, again, in doing so would make an uncomfortable situation. Perhaps you should not because it will almost be a condoning of her presence in light of her mean behavior.
Perhaps you should because one definition of love is sacrifice. Sometimes we do things for others despite our uncomfortable feelings.
My mother was not able to attend her brother’s wedding because it was so far away and she has always regretted it.
(This post was
edited by PremaritalCoach on Jun 17, 2008, 1:12 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jun 17, 2008, 6:44 PM
Post #3 of 3
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Re: Bridesmaid does not want to be in Brother's wedding because of Sister
[In reply to]
Sisters are not required to accept this role and so you have no (etiquette) obligation to be a member of the bridal party. If you'd like to decline that offer citing whatever reasons necessary, that would be acceptable. But, maybe you;re feeling a moral obligation to accept. In that case, speak to your brother and fiancee and let them know how you feel. Whatever you decide, as John so eloquently stated, you should definitely attend since you may regret that later on. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Bridesmaid does not want to be in Brother's wedding because of Sister
