I did a search on pregnant bridesmaids and read what has been said before, but I feel like my situation is a little different than the others I found. Two of my three bridesmaids live out of state; both of them are now pregnant. One of the girls is due three months before my wedding, so I'm not terribly concerned about her. She has always been very athletic and fit, and I feel that three months is ample time for her to bounce back.
The other bridesmaid, however, is due only two and half weeks before my wedding. This will be her first child. I've never had a baby, but I know they are notorious for being late, and most doctors will wait up to two weeks after the due date before deciding to induce labor. So, theoretically, she could have the baby only days before my wedding.
I have some genuine concerns for my friend and her newborn. They will have to travel eight hours to get here. We are having an outdoor wedding in October, and I just don't know that it would be good for a two and half week old baby to be toted around for a lengthy period of time outside at that time of the year. Plus, I don't think she realizes how worn out she's going to be. She'll likely be anemic and probably still sore and uncomfortable. She's the type that will push herself to the breaking point, and I don't want her to pass out or become ill.
I also have some selfish concerns about this. With her being due so close to the wedding, it's up in the air as to whether or not she will actually be able to come. I feel like it's very likely that she won't be physically able to handle this. I don't want the added stress of not really knowing who my bridesmaids will be until literally days beforehand. Plus, I am embroidering their names on their tote bags that will hold their gifts, so I need time for that. My fiance and I are printing our own programs and want to be able to knock that out of the way several months in advance, so I need to know who will be participating. My mother is making the dresses, and I want an even number of attendants on both sides, so if my friend stays in the wedding, I will have to buy the material to make a dress for a back-up bridesmaid in case she can't come.
I'm just at a loss for what to do. I love her to death, and want her there, but not at the expense of her health (or my sanity). I feel like she should have offered to step down when she found out she was due so close, but she told me not to worry about it and everything would be okay. I'm not so sure. Any advice or insight?
(This post was
edited by autumnbride on Feb 24, 2006, 10:16 AM)
TWQadmin
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Feb 24, 2006, 10:53 AM
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [autumnbride] Bridesmaid due only 2.5 weeks before
[In reply to]
Discuss your feelings with your bridesmaid and then step back and allow her to do what she feels is best for her and her baby.
If she ends up having her baby a few days before and is not able to make it what will the issues be REALLY? You will pay for one extra dinner? You'll have one less bridesmaid (it's been known to happen)? You'll have a totebag that has been embroidered with her name that you can give her at a later date?...etc... Make a list of the pros and cons and I think you'll see where I am going with this...
If you really want this woman as a part of your bridal party since you "love her to death" then allow her to make the decision and deal with a few small inconveniences if it works out that she cannot attend. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Feb 24, 2006, 11:58 AM
Post #3 of 3
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Re: [autumnbride] Bridesmaid due only 2.5 weeks before
[In reply to]
Bravo. Great answer. I couldn't agree more. Everyone wins with that decision. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Bridesmaid due only 2.5 weeks before
