A friend of mine is getting married in November, and I am a bridesmaid. She is hosting a black tie event on a Saturday night at a top hotel in NYC. She recently informed me that I was not going to be invited with a date, because she is only inviting dates for people with significant others, and all the single bridesmaids could just hang out together. She told me she can't afford to invite everyone with dates.
I am absolutely furious about this. I feel that, if she can't afford to invite single adults with dates, she should think about having a more modest wedding. I am also offended that my relationship is apparently insignificant because my boyfriend and I are not married/engaged/living together.
So the question is, what do I do? Do I say something to her, or just suck it up and go along with it? Or do I voluntarily remove myself from the wedding party?
I'm sorry that you are disturbed by your friend's decision, but she is only obligated to invite the significant others. She is correct as per etiquette, however, in my opinion it is generous, if possible, to invite all guests to bring a date.
Even though you're annoyed, I wouldn't make an issue over this unless, of course, you intend to possibly sever your relationship with the bride. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I agree. She technically hasn't done anything wrong. While it is nice when a couple can invite a date for every guest, it's impractical for some budget needs. It's her decision where to have her wedding and how elaborate it will be. It's your decision whether or not this one issue is worth ending a friendship over. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Thanks for responding. So the "rule" is that you only have to invite a guest for your married bridesmaids? Single bridesmaids are expected to travel and spend the weekend on their own?
The rule is that you only have to invite the spouse or fiance of any guest. Some make exceptions for significant others in very long term relationships who are living together, but that's a gray area. Yes, others would be expected to attend alone. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
I agree. One of the "duties" of single bridesmaids, as is true about groomsmen as well, is to mingle and dance with unattached guests. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Bridesmaid invited without date
