Bridesmaid overwhelmed by costs doesn't want to give shower gift.
I am due to be bridesmaid for a wedding that is being held a fair distance overseas (as that is where the bride's family is). I always knew this and was always happy to pay the cost of travel and accommodations (over $3,500) as I would have gone as a guest anyway. I am now starting to feel the strain of mounting expenses such as the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, jewellery. I organised a bachelorette party and am also expected to contribute to the bridal shower costs. I am very grateful and excited to have been included in the bridal party, but was unaware of all the things I would be expected to pay for and wrongly assumed that the bride and I would share some of these expenses (especially as I was not consulted on the dress or price of it, and am paying own accommodation etc). Unfortunately, after discovering this it is too late to step down, but I am starting to feel a litte taken advantage of and don't know how to raise it with my blushing bride, whom I assume has many other things on her mind. Would it be mean of me not give a bridal shower present?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 28, 2008, 9:35 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 28, 2008, 2:22 PM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: Bridesmaid overwhelmed by costs doesn't want to give shower gift.
[In reply to]
Dear Suzybridesmaid,
The bride isn't responsible for your attire costs. But, should try to choose something reasonably priced. You shouldn't be expected to pay for jewelry or your accommodations. You also are not responsible for costs of any prewedding party you do not wish to participate in planning and hosting. So, you are not obligated for the costs of the shower or bachelorette party. You are, though, expected to share in the cost of a shower gift if there is a traditional gift giving shower.
Bridesmaid overwhelmed by costs doesn't want to give shower gift.
