I am getting married in a year, and my fiance's sister is one of my bridesmaids. Over the past couple of years, she has started body modification- something that I don't understand, but up until now, her modifications have been mostly hidden. She has a very large tattoo on her back, and has gotten new piercings on and off, none of which she has kept in for too long. I chose a bridesmaids dress with a high enough back to cover the tattoo, but she has just informed us she is adding two new modifications- the first are heart-shaped scars on her upper back, which she began yesterday (and as you can imagine, they are not a pretty sight). She also plans on stretching her earlobes, and piercing her nasal septum.
It is my personal opinion that she looks ridiculous. I am planning an elegant, formal wedding, and know that with her new modifications, she will not exactly fit that mold. However, I am also aware that my wedding is not the biggest focus of her life, and her plans shouldn't stop on account of an event that is a year away. Needless to say, I am torn. Is there anything I can say or do about this, like asking her to hold off on the more obvious modifications (earlobes and nose)? Or is this something I need to turn the other cheek to? I absolutely don't want to hurt her feelings or make any kinds of waves in my new family-to-be, but at the same time, I want my bridesmaids to look pretty and elegant that day, and droopy earlobes just aren't so.
Any insight would be appreciated!
Jill
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 26, 2007, 2:23 PM
Post #2 of 2
(378 views)
Re: [Jillkk4] Bridesmaid's Form of Self-Expression
[In reply to]
Dear Jill,
This really isn't the same as when we ask our friends to be in our weddings and we know about their unique self expression. It these cases, it is best to except the person as she is. In your case, this is something she has added to her appearance since you asked her. So, it is appropriate to have a heart to heart and just politely ask her if she feels if she can wait for the new modifications. Of course, focusing on the positives is best. But, it seems by the way you stated your case that you will be able to present this to her in a kind manner.
Bridesmaid's Form of Self-Expression
