I am in a wedding and the bride's mother has offered to pay for most of the shower, asking that the 9 bridesmaids each pay only 50 dollars to put towards the expenses. We all happily agreed. However, one of the bridesmaids cannot attend the shower and believes that since she will not be at the party she should not be obligated to pay her 50 dollars. Do you think this is fair? I thought that the shower is thrown with the bride's happiness and needs in mind, not for the bridesmaids to simply "pay their own way" through the luncheon. Please answer ASAP! We need this resolved.
It was nice that the mother has contributed. However, she shouldn't be involved with the planning or hosting. Hopefully she is a silent partner. Mothers tend to become a bit extravagant with their daughter's showers.
The bridal shower is an optional event. It is not mandatory. And, all bridesmaids must be in agreement with the costs. It cannot be a demand of funds. If she did, as you say, agree to give you the money it is a promise whether or not she attends. She would then be obligated to pay.
However, asking the bridesmaids to chip in $50 on top of all of the other expenses involved in being a bridesmaid is not fair to someone who may not be able to afford it, which may be the case here. It may not have anything to do with attendance just because that is the excuse she gives.
9 bridesmaids pay $50 plus the mother is kicking in a sizable amount???!!! The bridal shower is supposed to be a small affair of close friends and family so as to create an atmosphere for the guests to feel as if they are a part of the wedding planning process. This is a very expensive bridal shower. I'm sure there are other options that would have been less expensive.
If this is one of the mega showers we have been hearing so much about, it may be viewed very negatively by your guests. Just a thought.
Bridesmaids Hosting Shower
I am in a wedding and the bride's mother has offered to pay for most of the shower, asking that the 9 bridesmaids each pay only 50 dollars to put towards the expenses. We all happily agreed. However, one of the bridesmaids cannot attend the shower and believes that since she will not be at the party she should not be obligated to pay her 50 dollars. Do you think this is fair? I thought that the shower is thrown with the bride's happiness and needs in mind, not for the bridesmaids to simply "pay their own way" through the luncheon. Please answer ASAP! We need this resolved. 
