I've asked two of my friends to be bridesmaids in my wedding. I'm not the closest of friends with these two maids, but have known them for over 10 years. Ever since asking, I've felt awkward about the whole thing. I feel like we're not close enough for them to be in my wedding party (in my experience bridesmaids and brides are usually very very close and support each other). I feel like they are both agreed to be in the wedding just to be polite. Niether are exited, were a bit reluctant to look for dresses, and niether has been in touch on any regular basis since they were asked to be in the wedding. .
In hindsite, I would not have asked these two. I want to replace both with one of my fiances close friends. This friend is very close to my future husband and we have become good friends. It would be more suitable for her to be in the wedding.
The bridesmaid dresses have only been ordered, but have not yet arrived. There has been no money obligations or other obligations arising for the first two bridesmaids. Can I ask them to step down? Can I have my fiances close friend instead?
Your question can be answered with a question. How would you feel if asked to step down from a friend's wedding for these reasons? It wouldn't be polite or nice, would it? They haven't done anything to deserve to be dismissed like this.
You could, however, ask the other woman to join your bridal party.
I know.. its not the best. I had thought we were good friends, but the lack of enthusiasm and reluctance hurts me. The hurt explains the reaction of trying to remove the negative from the situation. I want to be surrounded by persons that are genuinely happy and exited... that's the way I envision it happening. I've had many discussions with my fiance on this subject and know that asking these girls to step down would hurt the friendships we have. I know, I have to live with my decisions no matter how much the indifference and/or reluctance brings down the mood.
Do you have any suggestions on how to create more exitement and enthusiasm? Yesterday, I talked up the coming events; BBQ, brunch. Any other suggestions?
Also, I would love to ask close friend... but am afraid my wedding party would be too lop-sided and start becoming a financial strain (flowers are getting expensive). We have 4 in the grooms party and 6 in the brides party. (brides include flowergirl and jr bridesmaid). Can the close friend, being a female, stand in on the Grooms side?
I just want to add that you should consider the feelings of the "new" women you want to ask. They might feel as though they were asked late, maybe a second choice.
Don't worry about the sides being even. One groomsman can escort two bridesmaids.
I would have a talk with your two "friends" and ask them if anything has changed for them. Be open and honest with your feelings, gently letting them know that you are sensing a lack of interest. Perhaps that could open the door for them to remove themselves from the roles. If they don't say they want to be removed just go on with business as usual and allow them to do whatever they do at whatever level the do it. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I couldn't agree more. Also, if they decide that they really want to be a part of your event, a bridesmaid's party could be a great way to encourage involvement. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Changing bridemaids
