I am standing in a wedding for my best friend who lives on the East coast. I live now in the Midwest. I have received updates on all the happenings, and have been willing to contribute and to come in for things as necessary. My mother called to tell me she received the shower invitation for my friend. I hadn't yet and didn't think anything of it. This morning I received an email from the bride, also sent to her MOH, that she was having a small shower and she didn't want to send out too many invitiations and had limited the invite list to those who live within driving distance. I am quite taken aback, as she has invited the other bridesmaids who are in the wedding, and she knows I come in all the time to visit my parents. I feel she should have left the decision as to whether or not I wanted to come in to me. My mother is also insulted, as she feels that it was inappropriate to have received an invitation and I didn't. Also, I asked the bride from the beginning as to whether or not my daughter would be invited to the 11:00 AM wedding, and reception to follow. She said she wouldn't. She suggested I get a babysitter. As I am travelling 1500 miles, I do not have the ability to find a babysitter, nor do I trust anyone to watch my child that I do not know. And she knows that I have no other family to watch my child, and therefore my parents will have to forego and not go to the wedding, as they are invited. To further irritate me, I informed the bride that the only direct flight into where her wedding is arrives at 5:00 PM on Friday. She told me that it is a necessity that I be at the rehearsal which is Friday at 6:00 PM. There is no way I can make it by that time, and she has suggested I come in a day earlier. Am I being a little out of line for being disgruntled? Also, she wanted to know what weekends would work for me for her bachelorette party, which I have been asked to contribute to, but then she chose a weekend that she knew I would not be available to come in. Help!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 19, 2005, 4:58 PM
Post #2 of 2
(943 views)
Re: [In the Midwest] Do not Understand Bride
[In reply to]
Dear Do Not Understand,
I'm not sure I understand either. Actually, the bride cannot invite guests to her own shower. Someone who is not family hosts and asks the bride for a list of possible guests. Yes, you should have been on the list because the bridesmaids are invited to these prewedding events.
As for the bachelorette party, the bridesmaids typically contribute but are not asked by the bride. She is not to be planning this or demanding money. The bridesmaids plan it.
Now for the child issue, the bride has every right to limit her guests to adults. I'm sorry about your child care problems, but this was something the bride disclosed upfront.
I'm sorry but the rehearsal is something that you should attend even if you have to get a flight a day in advance.
Do not Understand Bride
