I have not seen this question after searching the database...I was cut from a wedding 6-8 weeks before the event, but not told about it and not told by anyone in the bridal party, bride's family or bride that she was upset and that I was being cut. We've all known each other for well over 11 years, and these are my closest friends from college
I bought the dress and had no idea that there were any problems. We had not had any fights, and this basically comes down to misunderstanding and bridesmaids telling her I wasn't calling them back and I thought the dresses were ugly. This is totally untrue.
I understand that had I been more involved, this would not have happened, but due to financial reasons, I could not attend the bach. or one other shower (but I offered to help plan and financially.) The entire engagement was only 14 weeks and it was only 4 weeks that I was not emailing/calling anyone. I didn't think the silence was bad since we'd see each other before the wedding at another shower.
So, my question: should she (or someone) have told me what was going on and that I was going to be cut? Should she pay me back for the dress? I"m in a difficult financial situation and really couldn't afford the dress and she knows this.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: [bridesmaidout] Does Bride Owe Cut Bridesmaid for Dress?
[In reply to]
Dear Bridesmaidout,
With everything you have said and on face value, I would have to agree that she owes you for the dress. When we ask our attendants to stand with us and they agree, it is like a contract between each other. If someone breaks the agreement, then it only seems right that there should be some consequences.
We really should only ask our attendants to step down due to something very serious. Of course, this is interpretational.
All of this is only my opinion and doesn't mean she will reimburse you.
It really doesn't matter if you contributed to her prewedding parties. These are supposed to be optional. I sincerely hope she didn't allow more than 2 showers to be held in her honor.
Re: [bridesmaidout] Does Bride Owe Cut Bridesmaid for Dress?
[In reply to]
It sounds like there was a terrible misunderstanding. I'm not condemning anyone's behavior - from their side, a month of unreturned messages might have been disconcerting during a 3 1/2 month engagement. You certainly were not obligated to e-mail, but it could have made them very nervous as they tried to pull last-minute details together.
Is it possible that they tried to reach you during your communications break to discuss it?
Since you were cut without discussing it, she probably should reimburse you for all or part of the dress, however, it's going to be difficult to enforce. You have to decide at this point if there is enough of the friendship left to salvage, or if the possibility of recovering the lost money is worth the fight, and probably, the end of your relationship (maybe with more than one of your friends). Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Does Bride Owe Cut Bridesmaid for Dress?
