This is my first post, and let me say - looking around, what a cool forum!
World War III has erupted and I am at my wits end. I honestly have NO idea what to do...
Joshua (my fiance) has three sisters, between 22 and 27. The oldest one is getting married in July of 2008, and we are both in each others bridal parties. So, all three of his sisters will be in mine. (As a side note, his family is WONDERFUL, I could not feel more welcomed.) He has also asked my 22 year old brother to be a groomsmen.
So, I have, in my wedding party, his three sisters, my best friend of over eleven years now, and I asked my very dear to me younger cousin to be a bridesmaid as well. (she will be fifteen a few weeks after the wedding.)
Altogether, I have my best friend as my Maid of honor, the three sisters and Jessica. (my 14 year old cousin)
I REALLY adore my cousin Jessica, I really, really love her. I also have three other cousins in the same family. A 17 year old boy Nathan, an 11 or 12 year old girl named Kristen and a 3 year old girl named Julie.
Joshua has a nephew who means the world to him - and he wants him as the ring bearer.
So, when I called my Gramma to tell her the good news on the day of our engagement I told her I was going to ask Jessica to be in the wedding party - which was fine. Then I mentioned that Julie - the youngest little girl, would be wonderful as a flower girl. I made sure to tell her I wasn't even planning on having a flower girl (kids can, and do, cry at very bad moments. hehe) but that Joshua very much wanted his nephew involved.
I then mentioned how I hoped everyone understood that I had simply no more space for the 17 year old boy or the 11 year old girl involved. (I already had to cut friends from my bridal party because he has three sisters)
My Gramma said, "Oh dear...... Kristen will be so disappointed... you know, baby (Julie) doesn't do so well in front of people, maybe Kristen could walk her down the aisle?"
I paused for a moment or two, long enough to let her know the idea didn't thrill me and then said, "Well.... maybe if Julie has a problem on the day OF the wedding, then MAYBE that would be okay. But I don't know, let me think about it. A lot is happening."
This was about two weeks ago.
The other day my Mother got a phone call from my Gramma saying, "The girls are so excited about being in the wedding! And Rachel said that Kristen can be a Junior Bridesmaid!" My Mom, as we had not spoken about this for several days, wasn't sure what to say, thinking maybe I had given in. So, she changed the subject.
When I saw my Mother the next day she asked me, "Why are you making Kristen a Junior bridesmaid?"
See, the thing is, when I was eighteen years old, I decided to leave college and pursue a modeling career. My aunt and Gramma made a huge scene saying I would regret it, never get any work, etc.
VERY quickly I was given a three year modeling contract with one of the biggest fashion agencies in NYC and a month later, did a huge spread in Vogue. After that, I worked steadily, for some really great clients and magazines. (Now I am an actress, and that too, is going very well.)
So now, Kristen has taken up what she hears my Aunt and Gramma saying. Last Christmas when I gave her a hug hello she announced, "Oh look! The dirty model is here." (Which I am not, i worked my butt off for the work i got.) Another Christmas she went under the Christmas tree an cut holes in the bathrobe I was given. Things like this make me very nervous to have her in the wedding party.
So, my mother was shocked, and wanted to know why I had done that.
I told her that I had not spoken to anyone from that house since the night of my engagement, and had NO idea what was going on.
So, I called my Gramma.
I asked her if Kristen was told she was going to be in the Bridal party. She said yes. I said, "But I NEVER said that!" She said, "Oh yes you did." And this went on, me repeating exactly what was said.
Then she said that if i cut Kristen out, Jillian would be too hurt to be involved. (keep in mind, I NEVER put her IN! I called Jessica asking her to be a Bridesmaid, I never spoke with Kristen, and haven't since last Christmas) I honestly do not think that is true, I know my Aunt will not LET Jessica be involved if Kristen isn't, but I know, perfectly well, she is really looking forward to this, and us getting to spend some time, one on one together before I move to LA. (I live in NY now, a week after the wedding we move to LA for my acting.)
This escalated until she was saying that she did nothing wrong by telling Kristen she was a Junior bridesmaid, and that I had SAID she was going to be in the wedding party.
I said, "No, no, that isn't what happened, and I am not going down in the books as saying that. No."
Then she started bringing stuff up like the fact my Mother , father, Brother & I had stayed with my aunt for 7 or 8 weeks 5 years ago.
1. We were invited - MANY times. My aunt really pushed my mom into it.
2. My parents were building a home and the builder was now two months behind schedule.
My aunt said it would be a waste of money to stay in a hotel.
Basically, she started listing off the things my Aunt had done for my parents.
Do I have to allow a whole family to be involved in my wedding when I don't have the room?
I really need some help here....
Thank you SO much! May 3, 2008. Rachel & Joshua!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 5, 2007, 8:28 AM)
TWQadmin
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Sep 5, 2007, 7:39 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [RachelCatherine] I really, really need help/advice.
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Please edit your post to make it more concise and easier for the experts to read. We have lots of questions so it would help us greatly to have the "Reader's Digest" version of your story. Please do not upload anything unless it has relevence to your question since that takes up valuable bandwidth which costs the forum. Thanks! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Family wants to add neice as junior bridesmaid
