Friend set wedding 1 month after mine & I'm the MOH.
My friend asked me to be her MOH over a year and a half ago. At this time I did not know her fiance well. But agreed to being her MOH. She set the date of the wedding for two years after. But did not make any wedding plans. During her engagement her fiance and her had many disagreements. Not concerning the wedding but everything but that, like concerning her family, friends, communication, etc. Her fiance got fed up with all the disagreements and brokeup with her on a voicemail. That same day I got engaged. I didn't tell her about my engagement but I listened to everything that was going on with her. Her fiance was very controlling and did not like her family or friends. And she said was not going to marry him.
After two weeks I told her I was engaged. And she was fine with it. After another week she told me that he wanted to get back together with her but only if they got married on the date they set. During this time, I booked my hall and church, etc and set a date 4 months before her. Knowing that that would be fine. She was aware of this. A month later she and her fiance got back together and moved up the wedding date. Her wedding is now a month after mine.
I have told her that that would make it very difficult for me to help her plan her wedding and bridal shower. Also I have expressed my concerns about her fiance. He treats her, her family and friends with no respect. Its his way or no way. I have had arguments with him and how he talks about her family and his expectations of her when he is in front of her bridal party.
My friend and I have had arguments about him and her expectations of me in the wedding. Recently, she asked me to plan and coordinate her bridal shower and bachlorette party. However, I indicated that when she changed the date of the wedding I would not have the time to focus on her wedding as I would like.
She is again having fights with her fiance, and family about her wedding and is venting all her frustrations on the bridesmaids and me. Her fiance is picking everything for the wedding, including the colour of the bridesmaid dress we bought. Now the bride yells at us to buy the dress again in a new colour. She also says she doesn't care if she's rude or mean to us. Two out of five bridesmaid have left. Now the groom wants to kick her only brother out of the wedding party (which I got very upset about) Everyone else in the wedding party are his friends.
I dont know what to do. Leave the bridal party? Or stay for her sake even though she's being rude and demanding?
I have my wedding to plan, and my fiance and I, and our families are enjoying our engagement and planning for our wedding. I know she is having problems with her relationship and wedding, but I should be able to enjoy my wedding planning without her yelling at me about her wedding.
P.S. She is not in my wedding party because she would stress me out and I have chosen only close family members since I come from a large family.
Please help!!!
(This post was
edited by swtbonita on Nov 14, 2007, 1:41 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 2
(631 views)
Re: [swtbonita] Friend set wedding 1 month after mine & I'm the MOH.
[In reply to]
Dear Swtbonita,
Let's get the bridal shower issue out of the way first. Brides are not supposed to request a shower. They shouldn't demand or try to plan. It is an optional party. So, it is fine if you skip it.
Now, on to the real issue here. She hasn't been consistent with her plans and yet expects everyone else to be flexible. This is very difficult in the real world. So, if you wish to bow out, you have a very good reason to--she changed the date and has already canceled once.
But, this is a decision you and only you can make. No one else can tell you what is best for you and for her. I think you already know what to do. Follow your gut feeling. It is usually correct.
Friend set wedding 1 month after mine & I'm the MOH.
