I am a bridesmaid for very good and old (20 years!) friend's wedding- the day after her wedding, her parents are hosting a "gift opening" that afternoon. I have a family vacation planned to leave that same day, and flights for our destination leave once a day right around the time the gift opening is to begin. I would like to support my friend, but feel that "gift openings", although traditional, are just a way to show off how much loot was obtained and are not something that the bridal party needs to attend. However, I am not able to attend her bridal shower/ stagette because the other bridesmaids have booked it for the same day as my brother's wedding. As a bridesmaid, is it expected that I absolutely attend the gift opening? I'm getting different opinons- some say that because I have 8 weddings this summer that I need to take the time for myself (I AM on the verge of breaking down), and that mostly my duty is to support my friend on her special day, others say that not showing will indicate that I'm not supportive. Some clarity is greatly appreciated.
Honestly, I have never even heard of this "gift opening". Perhaps it is a regional custom?
I wouldn't worry about attending. These parties are all optional. Just let the bride know why you cannot attend and giver her your best wishes. Let her know that, if you could be there, you would.
If you use the search bar on this site and look for bridesmaid's duties or responsibilities, you should find other posts about what's expected of you as a bridesmaid.
8 weddings...I'm tired just hearing about it! But, go to them all and have a ball! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I agree. I haven't heard of this 'custom' either. I even looked in all of my books, but finally found mention of this when I did an online search.
When I searched for this, I found that this party is supposed to include immediate family plus the honor attendant as witnesses. It was called a brilliant way to know who gave what so writing the thank you notes to the correct person would be easy.
This makes no sense to me. If gifts are to be sent before the wedding and thank you notes written as soon as the gift arrives, then all of the thank you notes would be sent to the correct person.
If the gifts are brought to the reception as it is in some regions, then again, the couple is responsible to write thank you notes, not the family. So, the reasoning for the party doesn't wash. I'm in agreement with 8weddings that this just seems like a way to show off the loot. Don't feel badly about not being able to attend.
The Wedding Queen gives great advice. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
I agree that the "gift opening" party is, well... unnecessary, to put it nicely. But it does seem to be something that is done where I live. This particular event is something that they sent out separate invitiations for, and the bride's parents are having it catered. There is a select number of people (about 50 of us, not only family) that are invited to the "gift opening".
This is why it's not so easy for me to say no... when I called the bride and explained to her that the flight I would like to be on leaves at the beginning of this party, she gave me a serious guilt trip.
I think I have too many brides in my life right now... sigh. I appreciate all the advice, though- thank you! Perhaps I just live in a warped part of North America where people have parties just to show off all the loot they got at their wedding.
It's sad, but this "friend" will just have to get over herself or loose a very good friend. You have a very valid reason for not being able to make the party and you have explained yourself already so don't let her do this to you.
Enjoy the rest of the weddings! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Gift opening
