My Honor Attendant (male friend for nearly 20 years) got upset with me because I told him what my preferrences were with the bachelorette party. He wanted to plan a party with some dirty stuff and I am conservative. I asked him not to do have that stuff at my party. It ended up in a 1.5 hour phone "conversation" of him yelling at me and telling me that I'm demanding. He has since agreed to have a clean party.
I don't know what to do as I'm hurt and angry with him for all the name calling and putting me through this. I want him out of the wedding, but if I do that, it will completely ruin our friendship. He's usually level-headed. At the same time, I'm torn as someone who is in that role should be someone who I can trust and go to for support. He doesn't deserve to be in that role, in my opinion. If I don't take him out of the wedding, how do I tell him he's only a groomsman or an usher?
I originally wanted my sisters to be in that role, but I couldn't choose between the two of them, so I chose my H. A. I now find out that I can have more than one. I wish I could turn back the clock.
How do I get rid of the H.A. and not make my sisters feel like they were second best? I am 2 months away from my wedding (April).
As you said, there is no good way to remove your friend from the wedding, or to demote him, without hurting the friendship. Plus, asking anyone now to replace him would make that person feel like a second choice. Without having heard his side of the story, I would simply suggest that you speak to him, in person, about your feelings. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Honor Attendant Fight
