I have a friend who thinks we are "best friends," but I do not feel the same...at all. I recently got married in HI and she was in my wedding. She talks about my wedding as, "my best friend's wedding," and introduces me that way as well. To be honest, it kind of freaks me out. One of my other bridesmaids said she was telling people I am going to be her MOH when she gets married. This is odd to me because 1) she is not really serious with anyone, nonetheless, engaged to anyone 2) she has not said a word to me about being her MOH someday so why would she announce it to others? 3) I don't think we are very good friends. In fact, the more i got to know her over the process of planning my wedding, I wanted talk to her less and less! I would not mind being in her wedding as a bridesmaid, however, I do not want to be her MOH.
How can I let her down easily & tactfully if she comes to me and asks?
- Don't want to hurt feelings
(This post was
edited by MittenKitty on Aug 22, 2005, 12:23 AM)
TWQadmin
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Aug 21, 2005, 8:04 PM
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Re: [MittenKitty] How do I decline to being the Maid of Honor?
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If she's not seeing anyone and not engaged then why worry about this? If there comes a time when it seems as though she might be close to being engaged worry about it the, Many things can happen before that time and not everyone finds a mate then want to marry. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
MittenKitty
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Aug 22, 2005, 12:18 AM
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Re: [TWQadmin] How do I decline to being the Maid of Honor?
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Hi again,
I completely understand what you're saying about not worrying about it just yet, but she's the type of person that may come to me tomorrow and announce she's engaged and wants me to be her MOH because I'm her "best friend." I would like advice on how to gracefully decline just in case the situation surprisingly occurs. Can you help?!
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Aug 22, 2005, 8:10 AM
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Re: [MittenKitty] How do I decline to being the Maid of Honor?
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Are you trying to save this friendship? Seems to me if you really do not care for this person you wouldn't have invited her to be in your wedding, so on some level, you must care about here, correct? If so, have an honest talk with her, if you really feel it's necessary now. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
MittenKitty
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Aug 22, 2005, 11:21 AM
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Re: [TWQadmin] How do I decline to being the Maid of Honor?
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Yes, I obviously care enough to have invited her into my wedding and do not want to hurt her feelings. But things changed a lot between those two events. Poor judge of character on my part. Anyway, back to my question...
Don't you agree that it would hurt her feelings if my answer to her was an honest, "I don't think we're close enough friends for me to be your MOH, but wouldn't mind being a bridesmaid?" Especially when she's telling people I'm her best friend? Is that what you are offering as advice?
And no, I do not want to bring it up now and have a talk about it when it is unnecessary or out of context...I just want to be PREPARED if the situation occurs that she asks me to be her MOH.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 24, 2005, 10:13 AM)
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Aug 22, 2005, 11:58 AM
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Re: [MittenKitty] How do I decline to being the Maid of Honor?
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I have to admit that I really don't understand your question since your friend isn't even dating anyone. However, my previous advice was to be honest with her if you do not want to encourage the friendship.
If you want to keep her as a friend, although I am having a difficult time trying to figure out why, then let her know that, while you are honored to be asked, the matron of honor duties would just be too time consuming or something similar. I still stand by my original advice and that is to be honest, with yourself as well as this person. Why waste anyone's time by pretending to be friends. If you really aren't that fond of her then simply let the friendship wane.
I surely did not mean to suggest you should go out of your way to hurt anyone's feelings. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 22, 2005, 12:01 PM)
Etiquette Now
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Aug 23, 2005, 8:32 AM
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Re: [MittenKitty] How do I decline to being the Maid of Honor?
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MittenKitty,
I completely agree. You can use the excuse of not enough time or monetary problems. But, you will continue to have problems with her if you are not honest.
How do I decline to being the Maid of Honor?
