I have read other posts that are related to my situation but am just asking for more advice. One of my bridesmaids, who I have been friends with for about 5-6 years got engaged the year before I did in 2006. Her and her fiance planned to have their wedding this month but it never happened because of money issues etc. I just got engaged last July 2007 and have planning for a year. My wedding is in August. This particular bridesmaid didn't seem too enthusiastic when I told her I was engaged. She actually hasn't for the past 9 months. I asked her to be a bridesmaid right away but since then we have grown apart. She doesn't return my calls, still hasn't picked up her dress which has been in since February, makes up excuses when we try to get together, and honestly I think is jealous of me. She makes it point to tell me she is trying to have her wedding before mine which would give her 2 months to plan and tries to one up me in everything I say about my wedding. She somehow lost the shower invite and even asked if she had to stay the whole time for my bachelorette party. My shower is this Saturday and I am affraid she won't show. I realize that if I ask her to step down that it will hurt her feelings but I am really getting nothing out of our friendship. She is talking about moving to Tennessee and if she does I doubt we will be friends. I don't even know if we will be friends after the wedding. I think the only thing holding our friendship together right now is the wedding.
I am just wondering if there is a polite way to ask her to step down. I have asked her to get together before to talk about this but there were more excuses.
It certainly sounds as if you have given up on the friendship. She has not acted reliably, but as someone who has been her friend, you might at least give her the gift of sympathy. If situations had been reversed, wouldn't you watch your friend go through the wedding motions with a little jealousy?
That said, you've boiled the situation down to the fact that your friendship would not survive a change in geography, and that you're not "getting anything" out of the friendship. If that's really how you feel and you're willing to sacrifice the friendship for good, then simply tell your friend you've grown apart and ask her if she is willing to step down. Just be prepared for an already uncomfortable situation to get a lot worse. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
How do I unask a bridesmaid?
