I asked my cousin to be my Maid of Honor when I became engaged a year and a half ago. She was thrilled and said yes. Since this time, she has had a baby, her priorities have changed, there is considerable distance between us (she lives in Florida, I live in Connecticut), and there seems to be a lack of enthusiasm for my big day. All of this makes things difficult and I feel like I am alone without support and help.
Our primary source of communication is email. Recently, I bought my wedding gown, created a bridal registry and picked out some bridesmaid dresses I thought she would like (I even offered to buy her dress and have it shipped). I have emailed all this information and have not heard a single word back from her on any of the above. In fact, it has come down to the point that I am planning my own bridal shower as she has fallen through on some basic things; phone calls to the other people to help since she is in Florida and booking the Tea Room for the shower (which I booked, signed the contract and paid the deposit).
I am in a quandary: 1. how do I “fire” her gracefully? 2. Since I did ask her, is it proper etiquette to keep her as my MOH and do all the work myself and hope she steps up to the plate and 3. If I do “fire” her, how do I ask someone else to step in, as they know they are not my first choice but a replacement and would probably be insulted?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 25, 2007, 7:28 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 25, 2007, 7:23 PM
Post #2 of 3
(828 views)
Re: [cebern] How to “Fire” my Maid-of-Honor
[In reply to]
Hold on a second - have you tried to call your cousin? Email is not the best way to communicate and many times email is lost, dumped into junk folder or deleted by mistake. Give her the benefit of the doubt and call her to talk. She is, after all, your family and you will have future dealings with her, I'm sure.
Now, with regard to the shower, these are optional events. You should sit back and wait for a shower to be offered. If the shower is not being planned properly, that is a shame, but not your responsibility. I would immediately stop being involved in any of the planning of the shower. Hand over what information you have (contract) and then allow the other woman (women) to plan the rest. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 25, 2007, 7:28 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 25, 2007, 7:36 PM
Post #3 of 3
(824 views)
Re: [cebern] How to Fire my Maid of Honor
[In reply to]
I absolutely agree. It is a major social faux pas to plan your own bridal shower. It is a gift giving situation, unless a gift-less shower. So, it is even more important for this to be planned carefully.
It isn't the MOH's job to plan a shower. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
How to Fire my Maid of Honor
