My Fiance proposed this passed October while we were on a family trip to Cancun. I returned home and decided to ask my closest friends. I did so, and didn't think it through clearly enough. I have a large enough bridal party as is, (my sister as MoH, my cousin, fiance's brother, 3 of my closest girlfriends, and my nieces as a Junior Bridesmaid and Flower girl) without including a sixth Bridesmaid. But somehow in the mix of all my excitement, I either implied that I wanted another there, or she just assumed. That would make a total of 7 bridesmaids and MoH, excluding the two younger ladies. This other person is a long time friend, who really wants to participate, but I don't want her to be in my wedding for multiple reasons.
What should I do??
Thanks, ThereseR
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Post #2 of 3
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Re: [ThereseR] I want to Unask a Bridesmaid
[In reply to]
Hi ThereseR:
Either you did ask her or you didn't. If you didn't, you need to just directly address that with her and help her feel important, but clearly understand that while she is a valuable friend, you have not asked her to serve as a bridesmaid. Perhaps in that case you might ask her to fill another valued role like program attendant or guest book attendant.
If you did indeed ask and are now just regretting the decision in retrospect, it was you who acted irresponsibly and you will definitely run the risk of deeply hurting her feelings when you tell her you don't want her anymore. You have such a large bridal party - is it worth rejecting her to eliminate one bridesmaid? It's a decision you have to make, but there's no easy out or magical thing you can say. Either honor your original request or be honest and hope that your friendship will endure. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 3
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Re: [ThereseR] I want to Unask a Bridesmaid
[In reply to]
I completely agree. Plus, please remember that you are responsible for the lodging expenses of all of your attendants. And, the formality of your wedding dictates how many attendants you should have. The more formal your wedding, the more attendants you would have. So, with this many attendants, you would be expected to be hosting a formal wedding. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
I want to Unask a Bridesmaid
