My best friend of 21 years asked me to help her plan her wedding (as i have planned a few)as well as be her maid of honor. I was very happy. Yesterday she called and said she had some bad news but she thought it was good. Her stepmother that he real father left her real mother for paid for a wedding planner. a complete stranger that knows nothing about her. I am so mad. I didnt say anything i faked my way through the rest of the conversation when she said, "but you and my mother can make our center pieces" and "my (stepmom) and i are gonna go and try on different styles of wedding dresses this weekend." Her stepmom has a lot of money and the brides mom and i, well, not so much. I told her to ask her mother what she thought and to be careful because she might hurt her mothers feelings if she takes her out of the loop. she said that her mother was fine with it. but i know her mom very well. 21 years, come on...what mother would be fine with that. So my question is, I am so mad that i was kicked out, that her mom is being left out. I dont want her to think that i am her to do all her nasty work and not have fun. Should i keep my mouth shut and move on? should i tell her as a bestfriend that she SUCKS? What do you do with a selfish bride? Am i just TOO mad right now?
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Mar 22, 2005, 4:52 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1053 views)
Re: [shayfinley] Id rather ask a stranger
[In reply to]
If I understand you correctly your friend said that her stepmother hired a professional wedding consultant. The bride didn't say she hired her but that he stepmom did, probably as a gift to the bride, and as a kind gesture. What do you suppose wmight have happened when the bride declined her stepmom's gift? I doubt she realized that she would be hurting your feelings since she is still having you as the MOH, right? Since you have helped plan weddings for other friends, you know that the MOH has many roles, some fun and some just responsibilities (work). When you accepted this position this is what you signed up for. Also, a good wedding planner does not need to know the bride in order to perform an exemplory service.
You could let your friend know that you are disappointed (I don't think telling hre she sucks is nice and if you honestly feel this way then you should certainly reconsider not only being the MOH but the friend). In any event, I would wait to calm down a little and reassess your feelings for this friend.
Lastly, please don't make this about you...it's your friend's day. I'm not saying you should be a doormat but maybe just a tad more open minded and forgiving. Remember, there are lots of emotions flying during the wedding planning from all sides of the family and friend's lists. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Mar 22, 2005, 5:13 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1051 views)
Re: [shayfinley] Id rather ask a stranger
[In reply to]
I completely agree with the Wedding Queen. And, it is best not to tell her that she sucks :) Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Id rather ask a stranger
My best friend of 21 years asked me to help her plan her wedding (as i have planned a few)as well as be her maid of honor. I was very happy. Yesterday she called and said she had some bad news but she thought it was good. Her stepmother that he real father left her real mother for paid for a wedding planner. a complete stranger that knows nothing about her. I am so mad. I didnt say anything i faked my way through the rest of the conversation when she said, "but you and my mother can make our center pieces" and "my (stepmom) and i are gonna go and try on different styles of wedding dresses this weekend." Her stepmom has a lot of money and the brides mom and i, well, not so much. 
