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Home: Bridal Party: Bridesmaids & Maid / Matron of Honor:

Is it rude to uninvite a bridesmaid who will not be in town and cannot afford a dress?

 

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Happy12




Post #1 of 2 (1134 views)
     Is it rude to uninvite a bridesmaid who will not be in town and cannot afford a dress?  

Hi! I have a bridesmaid who is a true and dear friend. The problem is, when I invited her to be my bridesmaid, she had a job and also was living near me. Now, she has lost her job and has advised she will be traveling 8 out of the 9 months (she is staying at people's houses, not spending much money) until my wedding pursuing her dreams of becoming a professional singer. She will not be here for the shower, bachelorette party, dress selection, etc. In addition, she has told me she cannot afford any of the dresses the other bridesmaids like- I let them select their own in the same color- (all around $100) but she will pick one up that is inexpensive and send me a picture to make sure I like it- she said that she will also use it as a dress for performing so the investment will not seem so bad. I am not sure what to do. It is important for her to be part of this with me like all the other maids have been. She does email me on occasion and tell me how excited she is to be a bridesmaid. Is it rude to uninvite her and ask her to do something else that is less costly and less of a time committment? If no, how would you do this with as little hurt feelings as possible?


(This post was edited by TWQadmin on Nov 29, 2007, 4:11 PM)

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT




Post #2 of 2 (1106 views)
     Re: [Happy12] Is it rude to uninvite a bridesmaid who will not be in town and cannot afford a dress? [In reply to]  

Dear Happy,

It seems that you have others around you in case they wish to host any of the prewedding parties. So, that isn't much of an issue. The dress selection is another non issue as you have allowed your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses.

We often choose an out of town bridesmaid. This person usually cannot attend any of the prewedding activities, but stands with us on our day because we care for each other. If she is truly a dear friend, then this shouldn't be much of an issue. But, you could talk to her about this and offer her an out. Perhaps this is too much for her at this time in her life.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now



 
 


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Mar 15 2010

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