My best friend from high school recently got engaged. She called me right away and I am THRILLED for her, great guy, etc etc! We've talked weekly about her wedding plans dates, etc. etc. Yesterday she sent me a link to her wedding page and I discovered I am not in the wedding party. I always assumed (wrongly obviously) that I would be a bridesmaid for her, and at no time did she discuss with me that I was not going to be one. I'm REALLY hurt and not sure what to do. At this point I am hurt enough not to attend the wedding. I know that, while it may sound very selfish, I will do nothing but stew at the wedding.
How do you suggest I handle this?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 15, 2008, 2:16 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 15, 2008, 2:24 PM
Post #2 of 3
(403 views)
Re: Not asked to be in the wedding and hurt.
[In reply to]
I can understand that you are disappointed, but brides cannot always ask everyone they love to be a member of their bridal party. Your friend could have many reasons for not inviting you to be a bridesmaid. This is probably not a reflection on her committment to you as her friend. Perhaps she had to ask family members and doesn't have enough spots. If she is having an informal wedding, she would have only a few attendants. It's obvious (from your post) that she cares for you so try to focus on that. And, she obviously doesn't think that you assumed you'd be a bridesmaid or she would have addressed that with you. She really only has to speak to those she actually invites.
If you're really her friend, really thrilled for her and want to continue the relationship, try to find a way to get over this and just be happy for her. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
PremaritalCoach
MARRIAGE/FAMILY COUNSELOR
Jul 15, 2008, 2:40 PM
Post #3 of 3
(401 views)
Re: Not asked to be in the wedding and hurt.
[In reply to]
Sometimes wedding party members are made up of who is the closest to the particular person at that particular time. However, we can never know about your friend.
Also, she may simply have quite a few friends and just cannot afford to have all of them with her, as said previously.
Since she is your best friend, I am sure you would want the best for her and if you were her maid of honor you would do all you could and support her. It would be a shame to not do the same even when you are not the maid of honor, or even in the party.
Not asked to be in the wedding and hurt.
My best friend from high school recently got engaged. She called me right away and I am THRILLED for her, great guy, etc etc! We've talked weekly about her wedding plans dates, etc. etc. Yesterday she sent me a link to her wedding page and I discovered I am not in the wedding party. I always assumed (wrongly obviously) that I would be a bridesmaid for her, and at no time did she discuss with me that I was not going to be one. I'm REALLY hurt and not sure what to do. At this point I am hurt enough not to attend the wedding. I know that, while it may sound very selfish, I will do nothing but stew at the wedding. 
