I am a candlelighter in a friend's wedding - we've known each other for almost 20 years. I'm absolutely thrilled for her and honored to be in her wedding. We've drifted apart over the past few years, since I've moved out of state. Since I'm not a bridesmaid, I don't know what all is expected of me. I've paid for my dress, shoes, and accessories, plus all travel arrangements.
My fiance and I are arriving in town almost a week before and have devoted the 3 days before the wedding, plus the wedding day to help her and her family.(decorating, cleaning toilets, mowing the lawn, etc) I want to help make this the best day of her life.
Unfortunately, I feel a bit forgotten/left out. I know it's hard because I am out of town, but I don't even know who else is in the wedding party, besides her sister (MOH). I was told by the bride the date of the bachelorette party a few months ago, but haven't heard anything since. I'm already shelling out a lot of money to make this trip and taking away time from my family and other friends to devote time to this wedding.
Is it impatient of me to want details on the bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner this far in advance? (The wedding is one month from now) It's not like I can just pick out what I'm wearing the day of - I have to bring everything with me. I also know that with 350 +/- guests, these events are the only opportunities I'll get to visit with the bride, so I want to make the most of them, without dominating her time and attention. HELP!!!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 9, 2007, 10:33 AM
Post #2 of 2
(417 views)
Re: [longhaul] Out of town attendant - need advice
[In reply to]
Dear Longhaul,
As a candle lighter you are not exactly part of the bridal party. You are in an honored position, but still not an attendant. So, it is difficult to know the extend of your inclusion.
I would assume you would be included in the rehearsal and the dinner. But, it is difficult to know this too.
Perhaps it would be best to ask the bride about what she expects of you.
Out of town attendant - need advice
