I have six bridesmaids, three of which live near my home in the US and three of which are from my native country, Germany. Two of the German bridesmaids are my sister and my cousin, and I know that my parents and my aunt and uncle will help them cover the cost of flying over here and paying for their dresses (I plan on taking care of their accommodations here, plus of course giving them a gift for being an attendant).
However, my third German bridesmaid is my best friend since first grade. She goes to university full time, she works very hard to afford her apartment and I know that money is tight, yet when I offered to help her pay for the flight, she graciously replied that she would be able to take care of it.
I completely understand her desire to be independent and not to take charity from me. However, I also feel quite guilty about her spending so much money to be in the my wedding that I considered paying for her dress. I do not think she is aware of the tradition that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. Would it be appropriate to simply ask for her measurements and send her the dress for her fitting without ever mentioning anything about her paying me back?
I am unsure if this would be unfair to the other bridesmaids who are paying for their dresses. Then again, they either have help paying, or they do not have to pay for any transatlantic flights.
Do you think this is acceptable? Are there any other ways I could help save her some money without her pride being hurt?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 15, 2007, 4:45 PM
Post #2 of 2
(567 views)
Re: [Erdbeere] Paying for bridesmaid's dress
[In reply to]
Dear Erdbeere,
Some may feel as if it isn't fair to provide the dress for one and not all. But, this just seems the most considerate thing to do. You could always inform your other two bridesmaids what you did and why so they won't mention anything or feel that there is any favoritism.
Paying for bridesmaid's dress
