My nearest and dearest friend is getting married and I am the MOH. I've planned a traiditional shower and they've registered at a couple of places, the only catch is, they're now planning on having a potluck wedding. Her husband has recently been laid off and she only works one day a week right now. Their shower is soon and they're wedding is in August.
I told her, everything I have read up on Pot Luck and that I don't think you're suppose to register for gifts and guests are bringing a dish. My understanding is a dish is in leui of a gift, and if you end up with something, Great! I totally understand the position they are in, and they're keeping the guest list to about 80 people and the wedding is beach/casual, so I suggested maybe doing hot dogs and hamburgers, etc. I big BBQ, keeps your cost low, but you're still providing the food. Am I over-stepping? I feel like I'm upsetting her instead of helping, the stress level is high! They have so many hoops to jump through and I don't want to be the downer, on the one thing they have to look forward to, any suggestions!
Thanks for you much needed advice!
(This post was
edited by LindaMOH on May 5, 2009, 1:25 PM)
There is no way to make the "Pot Luck" wedding appear polite or proper. There really are no rules because it shouldn't be done. No guest should have to bring the party. If they cannot afford to host, they shouldn't. It really is that simple. Times are difficult, but it doesn't mean that we get to take advantage of our guests. We simply scale back. They can do this by hosting their wedding during a time when guests do not expect to be fed. They could also host a much smaller wedding--just those very close.
Please read our many posts on bridal shower etiquette. Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower and this should be a small event.
Miss Manners just commented on this very thing. It was not a positive comment.
Pot Luck Wedding
