My best friend of 20 years is getting married. He fiance is a controling, abusive, self centered jerk. They have broken up a number of times and then gotten back together because she is afraid of being alone. She even called off the engagement once. I had agreed to originally be in the wedding because she is one of my best friends. Now that the engagement is back on, and I know what kind of a person he is, I am hesitant to say yes to being a bridesmaid. I love her but I know she is making a huge mistake and I know she shouldnt marry him. I know she doesnt need my approval to marry him, but I feel like being in the wedding is saying that I approve of them getting married and I dont. I think it is the biggest mistake of her life. She knows I feel this way and she knows that I dont like her fiance. What should I do? Do I support her in the wedding? Or do I tell her I dont think I can do it? HELP!!!!!
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 5, 2007, 11:32 AM
Post #2 of 5
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Re: [hlhovis] Should I Decline Being a Bridesmaid??
[In reply to]
I am so sorry for you, and for your friend. Maybe you could gently suggest that they get a bit of couples counseling before the marriage. If this is a religious service the officiant will likely ask for them to have some formal or informal counseling sessions.
This is a very personal decision. You'll have to consider that you may lose the friendship. Although, since your friend already knows how you feel, perhaps you can tell her that you just don't feel comfortable standing up for her. Then hope she understands. Follow your heart. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 5, 2007, 12:37 PM
Post #3 of 5
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Re: [hlhovis] Should I Decline Being a Bridesmaid??
[In reply to]
I completely agree. Hopefully she will follow your advice and a counselor will help her see what you do. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
hlhovis
Jan 5, 2007, 1:04 PM
Post #4 of 5
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Re: [TWQadmin] Should I Decline Being a Bridesmaid??
[In reply to]
Problem is they have already gone to counseling. I firmly believe that you cant change someone unless they are willing and want to change. He wont because he knows that she will keep coming back. Thanks for your advice
TWQadmin
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Jan 5, 2007, 1:07 PM
Post #5 of 5
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Re: [hlhovis] Should I Decline Being a Bridesmaid??
[In reply to]
Not much you can do about that, except to try to be a good friend. But, only if you aren't feeling abused too.
Good luck. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Should I Decline Being a Bridesmaid??
