Sis n law upset about not being asked to be in wedding!!
I have asked my two best friends and my sis-n-law (who happens to be a great friend & whom I've known since the 6th grade) to be my bridesmaids. My fiance' has only one great friend to stand beside him. So, we asked my two brothers to be groomsmen. One brother is married to one bridesmaid. The other brother is also married but I chose not to ask his wife to be a bridesmaid since we're not close. She's upset and is saying that it is not proper to ask my brother and not his wife.
So, set me straight. What was I supposed to do? Should I have asked her knowing that I would have one more bridesmaid too many? She has now convinced my brother not to participate because she's not included. He is fighting the war in Iraq and he called me to tell me that he respects her wishes and does not want to be a groomsmen if his wife is not included.
It has been my dream to have my brothers in my wedding and it just so happens that I'm marrying a man who needs two extra men! Please set me straight on the etiquette and what I can do to make this better!
Sincerely, A broken-hearted sis!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 30, 2007, 3:06 PM)
TWQadmin
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Post #2 of 3
(1368 views)
Re: [texas03] Sis n law upset about not being asked to be in wedding!!
[In reply to]
Dear Broken-Hearted Sis -
Your story is disturbing to me for many reasons; the most disturbing is your sister-in-law's behavior. For her to waste the precious telephone time she has with her husband to complain about not being included in your wedding, not to mention to upset him when he is in no position to rectify the situation, is really selfish of her. Shame on her. However, I trust that you will be the bigger person in the relationship and keep that bit of info to yourself. No sense fueling the fires.
If we look at this from a purely proper point of view, you are not obligated to include anyone as a member of your bridal party. And, the "sides" do not have to be even. You can certainly have one groomsman and three bridesmaids so you should never include anyone in a bridal party on that basis alone.
So, from an etiquette standpoint you're fine with the party you've chosen. However, your brother is not fine with it so I think you might want to bend your rules a bit. To make things easier on the brother you love, and so desperately want to have standing up for you at your wedding, why not consider asking the sister-in-law to make the peace? What would it hurt, really? And, who knows, it may bring you closer to this sister in the end. Who couldn't use more friendship in their life? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #3 of 3
(1367 views)
Re: [texas03] Sis n law upset about not being asked to be in wedding!!
[In reply to]
I agree. It is a very small gesture that could mean so much more. You could tell her that you had no idea that it would mean so much to her. That may help mend some bridges. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Sis n law upset about not being asked to be in wedding!!
