I AM MARRYING A MAN FROM A SMALL TOWN WHO HAS ALOT OF VERY CLOSE FRIENDS. IDO NOT HAVE LOTS OF CLOSE GIRLFRIENDS. HE ORIGINALLY WANTED 8 GROOMSMEN BUT WE COMPRIMISED ON 5. 1 OF THE GIRLS I ASKED IS NOT REALLY A GREAT FRIEND, BUT SHE NEVER GETS TO BE INVOLVED WITH ANY OF THE FRIENDS WEDDINGS SO WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO INCLUDE HER, SINCE HER BOYFRIEND, WHOM SHE HAS A CHILD WITH , IS ALSO IN THE WEDDING. SHE WAS THRILLED WHEN I ASKED HER, AND SAID YES RIGHT AWAY. SINCE THEN SHE HAS NOT OFFERED ANY HELP OR SUPPORT, AND CONSTANTLY TALKS BEHIND MY BACK, ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE IN THE WEDDING. WHEN WE ASK HER, SHE ACTS SURPRISED AND SAYS SHE WANTS TO BE IN THE WEDDING. I JUST HAD A SHOWER THIS LAST WEEKEND, AND SHE DID NOT SHOW UP, OR SEND A GIFT OR EVEN A CARD, THE OTHER BRIDESMAIDS WERE PRETTY UPSET, AS THEY ALL SPENT ALOT OF TIME ORGANIZING AND PREPARING. THE STRESS SHE IS CAUSING IS DRIVING ME MAD. IS IT OKAY AT THIS POINT TO ASK HER NOT TO BE IN THE WEDDING? AND IF I DO SHOULD I BE REIMBURSING THE COST OF HER DRESS? PLEASE HELP ME.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Post #2 of 3
(1924 views)
Re: [TREVSGRL] WHAT CAN I DO WITH A MEAN BRIDESMAID???
[In reply to]
First of all your bridesmaids should not be sharing the fact that this woman is not helping. It is their responsibility as your bridemaids, friends, family members, etc. to help keep the stress level down so ask them politely if they would not share that information with you until after the wedding.
I think you have realized why this woman is never included. This is unfortunate but I would just let her be in the wedding (it would probably make more work for you to have to deal with returning the dress, speaking to her, etc) and ignore her actions (or lack of action as the case may be). Chalk it up to experience and try not to let it bother you too much. Again, let the rest of the bridal party know that you are allowing her to continue as a "bridemaid" but that they should not expect any help form her. They can certainly ask for this woman's help but if she doesn't come through hopefully someone else will pick up the slack.
Enjoy the planning...please! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
sweetie05kay
Post #3 of 3
(1626 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] WHAT CAN I DO WITH A MEAN BRIDESMAID???
[In reply to]
I think it is your wedding and your it is in your best interest to tell her politely that you'd prefer not have her as a bridesmaid, because do you really want to remember ten years from now having a girl who aggrivated and upset you as a part of your wedding party.
WHAT CAN I DO WITH A MEAN BRIDESMAID???
Re: [TWQadmin] WHAT CAN I DO WITH A MEAN BRIDESMAID???
[