Why is considered okay for bridesmaids to be maids not matrons even if married
Hello -
I know there have been a number of posts on the maid vs. matron question, but I just want to make sure I have the information correct. I have 4 bridesmaids (3 of whom are married) and one "matron of honor" (my sister).
I recognize that my sister should be the "matron of honor" (to be correct)... but then it seems a bit inconsistent to call the married bridesmaids "maids." I suspect my sister would prefer to be called "maid" of honor - she was only recently married, and - as a previous post noted - "matron" sounds so "matronly."
Why is considered okay for bridesmaids to be "maids" even if married, but MOH must be "matron" if married? It is interesting to understand the logic behind some of these rules.
Thank you!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 31, 2007, 11:09 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 31, 2007, 2:14 PM
Post #2 of 5
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Re: [futureplanning] Why is considered okay for bridesmaids to be maids not matrons even if married
[In reply to]
Dear Futureplanning,
Your questions are always so interesting.
There really is no logic here as this is a very old tradition born from the marriage by capture era. A man with the help of his friends would ride into town to secure (kidnap) a bride for himself. He would take her back into his town where a few ladies would take care of her and prepare her for the 'wedding'.
The men who helped the 'groom' are now his groomsmen and the ladies are her bridesmaids. The matron of honor and maid of honor idea came a bit later. For many years the marital status of a woman defined her. So, this could be a part of the title.
I agree that we should consider new titles. Those are a bit outdated, as we see with so many choosing the alternate gender for their attendants and scrambling for titles. So, perhaps 'honor attendant' would be best for the ladies and the best man. Maybe we can begin a logical trend.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Why is considered okay for bridesmaids to be maids not matrons even if married
[In reply to]
Thank you, Rebecca! Very interesting!
Your response also made me realize why the maid/matron question kind of bothered me: it has the implication that a woman's marital status defines her, whereas the groomsmen are just "men" - married or not. (Same with Mrs./Miss and Mr., of course)
I believe I will ask my sister how she prefers to be listed, and do that. If the rule is out-dated even in the eyes of an expert, then I feel okay in choosing whatever the "MOH" prefers (recognizing that it may be a technical faux pas).
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 31, 2007, 4:53 PM
Post #4 of 5
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Re: [futureplanning] Why is considered okay for bridesmaids to be maids not matrons even if married
[In reply to]
You just never know how others will react. But, we have so many choosing a male for her MOH and the groom choosing a female for his 'best woman', that it just seems logical that these titles would change eventually. Of course, we are standing on new ground here. But, there is nothing technically incorrect about it. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 31, 2007, 4:57 PM
Post #5 of 5
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Re: [futureplanning] Why is considered okay for bridesmaids to be maids not matrons even if married
[In reply to]
Remember that there are still people out there who may be confused by her title if not selected appropriately. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Why is considered okay for bridesmaids to be maids not matrons even if married
