A long time friend of mine got engaged in March & is getting married in August. I am one of 8 bridesmaids. There is a crunch the amount of time involved, but on top of this, we dont live near each other to begin with & for the past 3 months she has been working outside the country, returning a month before the wedding. The last time I spoke with her, she let me know the date of the shower as well as where it would be held. I am assuming it is her mother that is doing the planning of it. Most of her bridesmaids are from out of town, except for myself and one sister. However, due to the circumstances & being told the date & place, Im not sure if Im supposed to help in any shower preparations or cost? Should I wait until I hear from the maid of honor (I dont even know who it is!) or the mother? I dont know any of the bridesmaids except her 2 sisters, though only bc they are her sisters. We have had no contact with each other yet. I would expect the maid of honor would make the first move?
I guess Im just confused with the situation. The bride will be returning mid-july & im sure will be quite busy with wedding details. Im not sure what my role is in initiating since I along with one of her sisters are the only local ones. However, Im really strapped for cash, having 2 other weddings this summer. However,those two have had a year to plan for. I guess since Im one of her oldest friends & am local, I feel obligated, yet its awkward situation in some respects.
Id appreciate any thoughts on what my role should be or if there is something I should be doing.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 1, 2005, 8:33 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 1, 2005, 10:28 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [bellafleur] Role of Bridesmaid in the bridal shower planning
[In reply to]
Dear What's My Role,
At this point it may be best to contact the MOH unless you can find out some information from her sisters. However, your only responsibility is to buy your outfit, attend pre-wedding parties and help when asked. And of course, show up for the wedding.
Bridesmaids often help host the bridal shower, but this is optional. You shouldn't be asked to help pay for it unless you have been asked to help host it. This is a choice, not a demand. Since, you haven't heard anything... it is your choice to ask about it or not.
Please don't feel as if you must hand over cash if requested to do so. If you haven't been included in the planning, you shouldn't have to help finance anything. This is something that all of the bridesmaids decide together.
Bottom line: it is your choice to call or not. You can wait to find out what is expected. But, you are only responsible for what you have had an opportunity to help plan--besides attendance.
Role of Bridesmaid in the bridal shower planning
