I am getting married in August and I asked 2 family members and 3 friends to be my attendants. My problem is, one of these friends has not shown any interest in particiapting in the duties expected of a bridesmaid. The other girls had a shower for me and this one particular girl didn't show up, didn't call to say she wasn't coming, didn't send a gift and worst of all she didn't follow through with her financial commitment she made to pay for her share of the shower costs. When I asked her why she wasn't there she said she had to work because she couldn't afford not to. She tends bar and could have easily switched shifts with a coworker for a few hours and made an appearance at the shower. I feel as though she doesn't want to be in my wedding any more and my fiancee and I quite frankly don't think she is committed enough and we don't want her to be in our wedding any longer. How do I tell her this without sounding like a bridezilla?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 26, 2007, 11:57 AM)
Your wedding is about you and your fiance and there is no way others can feel the same excitement about it as you. Others have their own lives and their own problems.
She wasn't required to be a part of the shower if she didn't want to be. It can't be forced upon her. In fact, many are now rebelling against the double gift theory.
If she had agreed to be one of the hosts of the party, then she would be expected to pay. She would be expected to join with the other attendants for a gift, but isn't required to give her own. Let's be fair, it is expensive to be a bridesmaid.
Perhaps she is disinterested because she feels this is too expensive or perhaps she just has her own life. It is impossible to know without talking to her, which is what a friend would be doing right now. Just assuming that she "could have easily switched shifts with a coworker for a few hours" for your shower really isn't fair to her. There is no way to really know what is going on in her life without dialog.
And, please remember, the traditional shower is about gifts. Should losing a friend be gift related?
absent bridesmaid
