This is from a post from two weeks ago. the deal with the contention. we have a long history. the summer of her wedding i had planned to quit my job, compete in ironman canada then go travelling for half a year. i wanted to know what my budget would be. the price of the dress kept increasing. i was okay with it but it went from $100.00 to $250.00 plus it was mandatory to pay for our hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure and shoes. i asked the MOH for a confirmation and the MOH told the bride that i was freaking out about the money, which i wasn't, just trying to get a number. anyways, the bride sent me an email that hurt me deeply. she said she couldn't believe her 33 year old friend couldn't come up with the money, pathetic, that it wasn't her fault that i decided to quit my job and go travelling. she continued to judge the way i had spent my money in the past several years (i had gone through a divorce and got into the sport of triathlon...we are very different in how we live our lives). then she suggested that it might be a better idea to not be in her wedding party since it should be an honor! i attempted to talk about this with her but she blew it off on both attempts. in the end i was in her wedding party but it has significantly changed the friendship for me. she is very guarded about her emotions but is never afraid to yell and say hurtful things. is it the right time to talk about this? i have distanced myself from her emotionally but still consider her a friend. this is why i am unsure of what to do and what to say to her. Please send me some more advice. do i include her in my wedding party? do i ask her to do a reading at the ceremony? thank you. octwed.
Khrys
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Re: [octwed] bridal party selection ?#2
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Octwed: Sounds like a heart to heart talk is in order before anything can be decided. Invite your friend somewhere none threatening, such as a restaurant for lunch or simply coffee, and discuss the real issues and facts. Not the money, but how your friendship has changed and what led to that. There are always two sides to every story and each of you should have the opportunity to respectfully discuss your viewpoint. Stick with the facts. Your decision will be less complicated as afterwards as where you stand will be apparent as well as why. You do not want anyone in your wedding that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is to be a joyous ocassion and celebration. Since you have already distanced yourself emotionally, if things do not go as hoped, then at least you will have closure. Remember, friendship, just like marriage, is a two-way street. Good luck.
bridal party selection ?#2
