we have already chosen the people we want for our bridal party. And it so happens that my brother is one of the grooms men...well my finace's sisters found out about that and now their all upset because they want to be in wedding. I'm very close with my brother and i want him in the wedding which is why my finace agreed to having him in the wedding. My finace doesn't want his sister's in the wedding, he could care less if they were there or not. His whole side is kind of upset becuase none of their family will be inthe wedding, even though we've told them a million times that we want his niece to be the flower girl. They still don't seem satisfied with it. their making me mad cause their acting like we should do what they want us to do. how can we nicly tell them to back off, and we'll have who we want in the wedding? i don't want to piss his mom off cause she's paying for some things, and we need her to pay for those things. any advice would be helpful...thanks
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 16, 2006, 11:58 AM
Post #2 of 2
(616 views)
Re: [insaneartist19] grooms sisters want in
[In reply to]
Dear Insane,
While it is a nice gesture to include each other's family members as attendants it is often better not to, especially if they are not people we know well. All personalities should mesh well. And, this is where the problems seem to be in this case.
There seems to be a low level of maturity here. This is not supposed to be a battle with only one person winning. Marriage is the joining of more than two people. It is probably best for your fiance to speak with his mother about this as politely and calmly as possible, not just because you two need her money, but because the two families are about to be joined. Plus, this is his family. It is typically not a good idea to step in the middle of this.
Yes, you two should have the wedding you want, including the attendants you hand pick. Hey, we all do. But, family is very important. Problems you create now may affect your relationship with them in the future.
One thing you two may want to consider is including the sisters in another way. Perhaps a reading or even include them in a creative unity candle lighting--that is a stretch, but I'm sure someone can figure out a way to make it work.
grooms sisters want in
