my friend cheated on her fiancé and is living a dishonest life, should I still be her bridesmaid?
Recently my friend from high school asked me to be in her wedding. Although I had never met her fiance and we had grown apart when we left for college, I was excited for her and said yes.
Then a few days ago I found out that she has been secretly sleeping with two of my friends and doing drugs for the past few years. I have known her since the third grade and never expected her to behave this way. She attended a prestigious college and regularly attends church. (where she met her fiance)
She does not yet know that I know this about her. And now that I do, I am considering dropping out of the wedding. I can not honestly stand up for her and act like we are good friends when I didnt know she had this dark side of her. I feel wrong turning my head and supporting this marriage.
Bottom line--she isnt being honest with herself and therefore can not be honest with anyone else. This is a deep issue that I know I can't change. But all I want is for her to come clean on everything and work this out with me. I want her to get honest with herself so that she can be honest with her fiance and have a long happy marriage. I want her to be my friend again. I need this to make me feel comfortable about being in her wedding.
I'm worried if i say something to her about this that she will deny it and I will not get my desired result. Do I say something to her and risk a huge fight? Or do I say nothing and go along with everything because it's her special day?
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Post #2 of 3
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Re: my friend cheated on her fiancé and is living a dishonest life, should I still be her bridesmaid?
[In reply to]
I think the answer should be based on whether or not you want to remain freinds.
My advice would be the same advice I'd give my daughter, which is, "The truth shall set you free". However, I also tell her that you need to be polite and caring when offering the truth.
You sound like a caring individual. I'm sure you'll find a way to do what's right for you. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
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Post #3 of 3
(468 views)
Re: my friend cheated on her fiancé and is living a dishonest life, should I still be her bridesmaid?
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more. Although, you did promise to be an attendant, you promised a person who really doesn't exist as you remember her. So, I'm my opinion, you are free to do as you wish. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
my friend cheated on her fiancé and is living a dishonest life, should I still be her bridesmaid?
