not asked to be a bridesmaid but asked to wear the same dress
My friend has been engaged for over a year now and all along has been telling me she needs to review what the greek orthodox rules are for the MOH and would love to have me in her wedding party but has to find out. She recently told me she asked her friend from high school to be her Maid of Honour because I am too busy travelling for work and busy with family stuff (my father is battling cancer). This other girl has more time to help her with the wedding and in the end that's what it came down to. I am very hurt especially since she casually mentioned this to me on our way out after one of my work trips(her brother is the best man and her finace wanted his sister and brother and law in the wedding party) She still wants to involve me in the wedding and recently asked me to have the same style dress or use the same fabric as the wedding party because she wants me in all the pictures. I am really hurt especially since I even offered to bake one of the wedding cakes! At no point did I even hint I was too busy to help despite my busy life but I don't want to have the same dress or colour if I'm not in the party and I don't understand why she just didn't pick the two of us instead of making me feel like it was a competition. I don't know how to tell her I'm hurt and how to back away from helping her too much. I think she is asking for too much from the bridesmaid's role and it's not right she wants me to help her with everything but not include me.She is supposed to be my best friend and after all we've been through, I'm just very very hurt.I don't know how to approach this. Please help!
(This post was
edited by Biondina on Aug 25, 2009, 8:06 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: not asked to be a bridesmaid but asked to wear the same dress
[In reply to]
Dear Biondina,
There is no perfect way to discuss personal feelings with someone that can guarantee positive results. But, I believe that the honest approach is best. You could begin by telling her everything you've stated here and follow up by informing her that you have been reading what is expected to help you understand whether this is proper of fair or not.
Bridesmaids are or they are not. There is no in between bridesmaid. It would be embarrassing to dress similar and not be an attendant. It is like you would be pretending. That's not a polite request to make of someone.
Bridesmaids are only responsible to dress as the bride wishes, including keeping all dress altering dates, and to assist her on the day. It is polite, if possible, to assist with some decisions, like the cake and to possibly help with favors--small issues like that.
not asked to be a bridesmaid but asked to wear the same dress
