My brother is getting married in a month. When they first starting planning the wedding both my sister and I were not asked to be in the wedding. We were upset but understood because the bride had said she only wanted her twin and her best friend. However that all changed when she asked her other sister and her 14 and 16 year old nieces. My brother mentioned having my sister and I as his best "men" but after he mentioned it to his fiance the option faded away. We got over it until recently when her entire family backed out of paying for the shower and my brother and his fiance payed for it themselves. It is hurtful to my sister and I because we have done more for this wedding individually then her whole bridal party has done combined. I did their invitations, made the bridal chair for the shower, made their favors for the shower and have gone with my future SIL for flowers, dress fittings etc. She always tells us how much she hates her family and how she is so lucky to have my sister and me in her life but we are still be ignored in the wedding
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 8, 2006, 4:22 PM
Post #2 of 4
(669 views)
Re: [islesgirl] not in brother's wedding
[In reply to]
Dear Not Included,
I am sorry that you feel this way, although the bride should choose those closest to her for her attendants. She could have chosen you, but it isn't mandatory.
As for the shower, family shouldn't be involved at all unless it is a sister who is also an attendant. So, your family shouldn't have hosted or paid. It is an optional party that should be planned well in order to be viewed positively.
So, neither family should have paid or hosted. Perhaps they knew this.
Hopefully the bride will thank you for what you have done.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] not in brother's wedding
[In reply to]
To clear up the thing with the shower, her twin who is the maid of honor was going to pay for it and then when it came time to pay backed out of it. My family didn't pay for it either because my brother and his fiance wouldn't allow us to. It just seems like her family doesn't care about her wedding and that is why it is so upsetting to myself and my family
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 8, 2006, 7:33 PM
Post #4 of 4
(660 views)
Re: [islesgirl] not in brother's wedding
[In reply to]
That is interesting and I can certainly understand why you would be upset. Hopefully, the compassion your family has for each other will influence them. We can only model compassion and consideration for others and hope others will join in. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
not in brother's wedding
