I've been asked to be a bridesmaid for a wedding 2 years out. Understandably the bride is excited and I'm excited for her.
I thought since it was so far out that I would have until next summer before I have to worry about travel and such... Should be noted here that I am a poor graduate student. I don't have the funds or the time to just get away and get a hotel room willy nilly.
I'm trying to budget to buy the dress. She wants to get it a year in advance... I know my size will change I don't want to have to buy two dresses and she doesn't understand why I'm not into buying the dress that far in advance.
I'm trying to budget for the rest of the stuff as well but I flat out can't afford it. And she is expecting basically a two year long party and can't fathom that we or that I have other things I have to do as well as be a part of this.
I can't explain it to her any clearer. I love her as a friend and want to be involved but her demands are just getting to be two much... as far as time and money. I feel that she hasn't really thought out that I am out of town and as such won't be able to partake in the usual group activities....
So I don't know what to do at this point.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Aug 24, 2007, 9:57 AM
Post #2 of 5
(516 views)
Re: [superme] out of town bridemaids
[In reply to]
Tell the bride what you told us here, that you lover her but just cannot afford the expense. Apologize and let her know that you just didn't realize, at the time you accepted, just how much time and expense this commitment would take. Since the wedding is two years away it's fine to let her know that you have changed your mind. Let her know that you will be supportive of her in any way you can during her engagement and, of course, you'll surely attend as a guest. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 24, 2007, 10:46 AM
Post #3 of 5
(512 views)
Re: [superme] out of town bridemaids
[In reply to]
I agree. If she is this demanding now, it doesn't seem likely that it will get any better as time goes on.
You have every right to step down now and it isn't impolite. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
superme
Aug 24, 2007, 4:14 PM
Post #4 of 5
(505 views)
Re: [Et.byRebecca] out of town bridemaids
[In reply to]
Part of my concern too is that they aren't actually going to get married since the man is completely apathetic towards this. And inspite of buying the ring hasn't asked her to marry him yet and she's gone off full throttle.
I understand her excitement (I got married once too). But I also don't want to buy a dress a year in advance and watch the wedding not happen and have the stereotypical bridesmaid dress hanging there.
But thanks for you advice. I feel better knowing that I'm not locked into this at this point.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Aug 24, 2007, 5:14 PM
Post #5 of 5
(498 views)
Re: [superme] out of town bridemaids
[In reply to]
No wedding planning should begin until both parties agree to be married. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
out of town bridemaids
