I need some advice. in the heat of all of the excitement I asked a friend of mine who I only had been friends with for a short time to be one of my bridesmaids. At the time I knew she had a few tattoos that wasn't a problem with me as I have a few myself but will be covering them up. none of hers were going to be visible. But now she has been going every week and having more work done and plans to have her arms and chest covered by the time my wedding comes up in june. i have politely asked her to hold off on anymore work till the wedding and she had agreed to it but now she has seemed to change her mind.I don't see her very often she is very hard to get a hold of but when i do we have a great time together and she is always looking forward to the wedding. How do I tell her I no longer want her as a bridesmaid with out loosing her friendship and sounding like a stuck up brat.
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Jan 1, 2007, 2:02 PM
Post #2 of 5
(585 views)
Re: [finally a bride] tattoo covered bridesmaid
[In reply to]
This isn't a real legitimate reason to uninvite her. You knew she had these tatoos before you asked her to be in the wedding, and you asked her anyway. So she stays in.
What I recommend is that you speak with your photographer and/or videographer to see whether she/he will be able to edit out any tatoos that may show. Another option is that many photographers know how to stage shots so that it minimizes the display of blemishes, birthmarks, tatoos, etc. They just need to know ahead of time. Photographers/videographers work with this type of situation all the time and you may find it isn't such a big deal at all. At least that is my experience.
The only other alternative I can see is to ask her to use coverup makeup made especially for tatoos. But be mindful that she doesn't have to do it just because you ask. This is part of who she is and we are supposed to accept our friends for who they are, whole heartedly and unconditionally. Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 1, 2007, 3:47 PM
Post #3 of 5
(583 views)
Re: [finally a bride] tattoo covered bridesmaid
[In reply to]
Very well said. I completely agree.
When and if you ask her to cover her tatoos, you could mention that some older guests may find them distasteful and you are just considering their sensibilities. This may help smooth the waters a bit. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
thank you for the advice. But i do want to mention that I do accept her for who she is and her tattoos as I a said i my post that i have a few as well but i have them in places that are easily covered. And yes I did know that she had SOME tattoos when I asked her to be a bridesmaid. hers also were easily hidden. My problem is that she plans to have her arms back and chest completely covered in tattoos by the time my wedding is here as she has all ready started having the work done. I did not know when I asked her to be a bridesmaid that she was planning on doing this since she only recently decided on doing this. if i had known at the time I would not have asked.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jan 2, 2007, 9:45 AM
Post #5 of 5
(565 views)
Re: [finally a bride] tattoo covered bridesmaid
[In reply to]
Perhaps it would be best to speak to her about this. As you said she has changed her appearance purposely. But, please keep in mind that she is still the same person inside. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
tattoo covered bridesmaid
