When I was married (6 years ago) I asked to include my 10 yr old neice (my sister/matron of honor's daughter) in my bridesmaid's luncheon. My mother in law said yes but the hostess was technically my GRANDmother in law. She still has not forgiven me and belittles me, saying I am uncouth and know no etiquette for including a (very mature, well behaved) 10 year old girl (from out of town) at a formal event.
What is the appropriate age for such an event? Is there some kind of Miss Manners manual I can show my grandmother in law so she can drop this?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 30, 2006, 3:49 PM
Post #2 of 2
(1358 views)
Re: [JHJNole] 10 yr old girl at bridesmaids luncheon?
[In reply to]
Dear Belittled,
Actually, this party is mentioned in many etiquette books and has few strict rules. It is an optional pre-wedding party that is either hosted by the bride as a gift to her attendants or the bridesmaids as a way to offer their gift to the bride. But, most often and actually the most fair, the bride hosts it to thank her attendants and to give them their gift. This is not usually hosted by mothers or grandmothers and is most often casual.
You probably should have hosted this yourself and could invite anyone you wish. But, it is most often best to only include your attendants to make it even more special for them.
So, it seems that your grandmother-in-law doesn't know proper etiquette either.
Another thought though, it is not polite to ask to include another guest to a planned event. This would be the same as if you were hosting a dinner party and one of your guests asked to bring their out of town cousin. This is not polite either.
10 yr old girl at bridesmaids luncheon?
