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Home: Bridal Party: Children in the Wedding:

Asking children not related into the bridal party

 

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Grean2




Post #1 of 2 (710 views)
     Asking children not related into the bridal party  

My groom and I are in a pickle in regard to children in our wedding party.

The groom has one biological niece (age 4) who we see very rarely. Her father just married and acquired 2 step daughters (ages 6 and ages 8). We have only met these children twice, the second time at the wedding. The 6 year old has serious behavior problems, and couldn't even muster composure during her mother's wedding! (We both have worked with special needs children and were blown away by this girl’s chosen disruptive behavior. )

I have a nephew, who we are both very close too, who I would like as my ring bearer.

I also have a little girl who I “nannied” when we lived out of state. We've known her since she was 1 1/2 (now 5). She and her family have been a large part of our lives, (our west coast family) and I can't imagine not having her as part of my wedding party. Her place in my life and heart is huge.

Are we stuck inviting the step-nieces into our wedding party if we invite the biological one? Or is there any tactful way to have my nephew and a non-family member be in the wedding party and not my groom's nieces?


(This post was edited by TWQadmin on Jan 6, 2009, 1:27 PM)

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT




Post #2 of 2 (699 views)
     Re: Asking children not related into the bridal party [In reply to]  

Dear Grean,

You are not obligated to have any children in your wedding party. So, as with all other members of your bridal party, choose only those with whom you are close.

One problem I could see with inviting the one niece could be inviting one sibling and not the others might appear negative. And mentioning the behavioral problem might anger the mother. It is unfortunate because it might be a nice wake-up call that there are consequences for non-parenting.

Bottom line, ask the children you want to be involved and not the others.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now



 
 


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Mar 18 2010

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