Should the flowergirl and ringbearer be at the reception? I was only planning on these children at our reception, as they are IN our wedding ceremony. Their mother, who is a friend and co-worker of mine, does not want them to attend-she wants to get them a babysitter. The kids are 5 and 8, and she says they won't sit through dinner and will be too much for her to handle. I disagree, and don't mind if the kids are up running and dancing, and feel that they should and will be able to sit through dinner just fine. These kids are important to us, and we want to include them in our night.
I have explained to their mother that if she'd like them to leave after we cut the cake, that's fine with us, but we'd really like them at our reception and that we understand that kids will be kids. I also think that if the kids need to go home, that she should take them home, not have a sitter or the grandparents come and pick them up.
I think that she doesn't want them there for her own reasons-that she wants to bring a date (she's divorced) and doesn't want to "deal" with the kids. I'd rather she didn't bring a date due to budget and the fact that we're not exactly fond of the man she's in a relationship with. Is it reasonable for us to expect her to keep the kids at our reception? Do I have to include "and guest" on her invitation?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Dec 30, 2005, 6:56 AM)
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Dec 30, 2005, 10:26 AM
Post #2 of 5
(1499 views)
Re: [SuzyBride] Flowergirl and Ring Bearer
[In reply to]
Dear SuzyBride:
It is reasonable to expect that everyone in your wedding would be at the reception. However, that's not always possible, for one reason or another. I've had situations just like this where the children didn't make it to the reception. Obviously, the mother of your child attendants seems to be in disagreement with bringing them to your reception and it is unlikely you are going to change her mind. If that's the case, then just make the best of it.
As for inviting the mother's boyfriend, if she has been in a long term relationship with him, is living with him or engaged to him, then he's considered a significant other and receives an invite as well.
Cheers! Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 30, 2005, 10:47 AM
Post #3 of 5
(1498 views)
Re: [SuzyBride] Flowergirl and Ring Bearer
[In reply to]
I completely agree that if you know that she is in a relationship with this person, he should be invited.
When we host any type of event, even a dinner, we should have our guest's comfort and interests in mind. So, because this mother feels as if her children are a bit young to sit through your reception, it seems as though her feelings should be taken seriously. It sounds as if she wouldn't be comfortable with them running around. Actually, I find that very considerate.
Plus, you can do something special with the children at another time to thank them for their participation and to have some 'together time.'
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Flowergirl and Ring Bearer
[In reply to]
Thanks for the help on this and the other question I had.
I'm still unsure about how to handle the boyfriend. They aren't in a "relationship", they've been dating off and on over the last couple months. His divorce isn't yet finalized, and he hasn't treated her well this far. I wouldn't say it's the healthiest of relationships-I'll leave it at that, but this is why I'd rather not have him at the reception. She has been dating other men (at least in the last month), so I know that their relationship is not exclusive, and they do not co-habitate. Do I still need to invite her "and guest", or can it be just her name on the invitation?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 30, 2005, 9:22 PM
Post #5 of 5
(1484 views)
Re: [SuzyBride] Flowergirl and Ring Bearer
[In reply to]
If she is not 'seeing' someone exclusively, then no. I would be as protective of my friends too Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Flowergirl and Ring Bearer
