Groom's sister insists we use her daughter as flower girl
My fiance's sister insists we use her daughter, my soon to be niece, as flower girl. We have never discussed this and, wtih her age being 10 right now and 11 at the time of our wedding, we were not thinking about her as a flower girl. My fiance's sister said she never heard of an age limit and is very angry with us. She also informed us that she is annoyed that we are choosing an adult reception. Our plates are about 100 dollars a person which is why it is only adults. I am not sure how to respond to this. I feel bad but I do not want to use her as a flower girl. What should I do?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 19, 2008, 11:05 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Mar 19, 2008, 11:50 AM
Post #2 of 5
(325 views)
Re: [kdcutie83] Groom's sister insists we use her daughter as flower girl
[In reply to]
Dear Kdcutie,
It is your fiance's job to speak to his sister. She cannot invite or create your bridal party. Plus, all who attend the wedding must be invited to the reception. So, no children would be invited to the wedding. This is a decision you two have made together. So, it is up to him to convey this to his sister.
There are plenty of posts here about the age of flower girls. Plus, it is covered in all etiquette books that include wedding etiquette information.
Please note that it isn't polite to write "adults only" or "no children please" on your invitations.
Re: [kdcutie83] Groom's sister insists we use her daughter as flower girl
[In reply to]
Definitely request that your fiance speak to his sister and make it clear that her daughter will not be serving as a flower girl. It is not her choice, and she has no place expressing to you that she is unhappy with your plans.
I hope that you can all come to a pleasant conclusion and move on together as a family. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
kdcutie83
Mar 19, 2008, 12:28 PM
Post #4 of 5
(316 views)
Re: [Etiquette Now] Groom's sister insists we use her daughter as flower girl
[In reply to]
Is adult reception appropriate then or nothing written at all ? Thanks for the help!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 19, 2008, 12:30 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Mar 19, 2008, 12:29 PM
Post #5 of 5
(313 views)
Re: [kdcutie83] Groom's sister insists we use her daughter as flower girl
[In reply to]
Stand back and allow your groom to deal with his sister. This leaves you out of the "bad guy" role. Let him go to her with all of the information you're read here. But, remind him not to leave room for her to respond. He will be simply telling her the plans the two of you made as a couple and how you arrived at your decision.
You will not make mention of adults only or no children on the invitation. That distinction is made by the names listed on the inner envelope. Please see the wedding invitation forum category where we have that outlined. You can search for that with the search tool. Good Luck. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 19, 2008, 12:31 PM)
Groom's sister insists we use her daughter as flower girl
