Should my fiancee's daughter be included in the wedding?
My husband to be has a 12 year old daughter who he does not believe is his. She is very disrespectful to her father and to me. When she found out that her father and I were getting married she had a temper-tantrum. His daughter does not care for me because I am going to another lady in her fathers life. My question is should I include her in the wedding party? If I had an all adult wedding party, it would be easy, but I have my fiancee's niece in the wedding who is very close to me and she is the same age as his alleged daughter.
Thanks,
Confused
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Oct 21, 2004, 6:38 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1274 views)
Re: [ksudler] Should my fiancee's daughter be included in the wedding?
[In reply to]
I can see why you call yourself confused. This situatioin is just fraught with difficulties. Firstly, you haven't mentioned what sort of relationship your fiance has with his child, how he feels about her and about having her in the wedding party, nor have you mentione the child's mother and her role in all of this.
I would begin by discussing these feelings with your fiance in a calm setting. Explore all of the "what ifs" and see how the both of you feel. If this child is in your life now, whether she is actually his biological child or not, she should at least be invited to the wedding, if not included in some fashion. She will have more feelings of resentment for you if she's excluded.
Have you considered family counseling? Sometimes, having a third party avaialble while you discuss aoo of these feelings can be helpful.
Good Luck. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
Oct 22, 2004, 3:28 AM
Post #3 of 3
(1270 views)
Re: [ksudler] Should my fiancee's daughter be included in the wedding?
[In reply to]
I am sure you are not the only one confused - and my thoughts go out to the little girl too. This little girl is going to be in your life now, but you and your fiance need to have quite a talk about how and when. Decide together whether she should be a bridesmaid, but do try to include her in the celebrations somehow - it wont help anyone if she feels she doesnt fit in anywhere. Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
Should my fiancee's daughter be included in the wedding?
